Sometimes

As a blogger, sometimes I need a bit of time away.

I focus on my home, my life, my family, my other relationships, and sometimes just me.

Other times, something is keeping me away.

It could be a family issue, a tragedy, a lack of time, or it can be as simple as my mood.

Then there is something I would like to call "Bloggers brain freeze".

That's when I simply cannot think of anything to blog.

I can have ten projects done around the house, lots of trips traveled, and 500 photos, but for some reason I can't bring myself to post.

During these times, visiting blogs also seems to take a backseat.

Well, I do visit here and there, but I rarely say anything.

I guess that would be called "visitors brain freeze".

Then there's the whole "If I post, I must comment back or repay the visit." thing, because if I don't, I feel bad.

That, my friends, is a vicious circle.

Right now, I'm so far behind with visiting and commenting back, I don't know if I'll ever catch up.

Ugh.

So, all this to say...

I'm still here.

And I promise that nothing tragic is going on. 

I've just been focusing on other things, like the ones I mentioned in the beginning of this post.

Some of it I'll be keeping private and some of it I might share in future posts, because I think it might be helpful to some of you.

For right now though, I'm just going to share these wildflowers with you and hope you can forgive me for being an imperfect human.

Please know that I truly appreciate all of you.

I really do.

xo

rue

PS

I'm praying for all those affected by the hurricanes in Texas and Florida.

My heart goes out to you.

Be you

As a blogger, I've always wanted to be more like my dear sweet friend, Kim.

After all, she's the reason I started blogging.

And it's no wonder...

No matter what may be going on in her life, she always manages to see beauty in her everyday world.

She snaps gorgeous pictures.

She writes beautiful words.

And you read and see these wonderful creations of hers and not only do you feel like you know her, but you also feel like the world is a comfy cozy place where there is no pain or sorrow.

Just beauty.

The reason behind this is that she's writing from her heart and being her own sweet self.

But the thing is...

even if I tried to be more like her,

and as much as I did try in the beginning, all those years ago,

I know that I'll never have her eye for photography or her way of using the written word.

Basically...

I can't be her, because I'm not her.

And that's okay, because...

I have my own way of seeing things through a lens and I have my own way of wording what I want to say.

I may not always give you the warm and fuzzies and God knows, my blog will never be perfect, far from it, but it will always be 

all 

me.

Which leads me to the point I'm trying to make.

Be you.

If you don't want to be just another person in this boring world of perfection that Blogland has become.

Just

be

you.

If you want to show everyone a roadrunner that you spied in your tree.

Post it.

If you want to share a moment in time, but the house is a bit messy, because your pups have just left their cozy chairs.

Post it anyway.

Or not.

You don't have to do anything I tell you to do.

I'm not the authority on anything except my own life.

And sometimes I question that ;)

But I will say this...

I would rather read about things that interest you, than what you think I want to read.

Unless you want to be the blog that shows people how to boil an egg.

What? 

You haven't seen this?

I kid you not, there are blog posts about it.

I know, because I clicked on one of them recently, thinking maybe it was written with humor.

It wasn't.

Now, I get that there may be some people that don't know how to boil an egg and although that scares me on some level, I'm assuming that the people that are trying to learn how to do this common culinary feat, have heard of google.

And maybe I'm wrong (it wouldn't be the first time) and these women are really passionate about teaching people how to boil an egg, but my guess is that they're trying to compete with all the how-to blogs out there.

And they couldn't think of anything else.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Now don't get me wrong...

I love a good how-to, just as much as the next person.

but when there's no personality behind it, I might as well be reading an owners manual on how to run a lawn mower.

My apologies if you find that stuff fascinating.

I don't.

My other friend, Kim is a great example of how to put personality into how-to posts.

After all, she makes me think about making beautiful wreaths, like she does, until I remember that I don't craft.

Come to think of it, maybe I would read about how to run a lawnmower if she wrote it. 

That's a good tutorialist right there ;)

Yes, I just made up that word.

I have many other friends that have the ability to inspire me as well.

Just look at my sidebar and you'll see all sorts of bloggers that will inspire you to do all sorts of things you didn't think you wanted to do.

;)

Anyway, back to the eggs....

(I know, I know, but stick with me.)

Another friend, Benita posted about boiling eggs, but it was funny because the eggs exploded all over her kitchen.

She wrote it in self deprecating humor and it was great, because she was being her hilarious self.

Not to say that anyone has to be funny or beautiful or anything in particular, but I do think that you need to be you and not another person showing people how to do the same damn thing over and over.

It's boring.

There.

 I said it.

You know what's not boring?

Say it with me...

Being

YOU.

So, if you're dying to post a tutorial on boiling an egg..

go for it!

Own that egg boiling post.

But be you.

People will read just about anything if it comes from your heart.

It's true!

You know how I know?

 Because you just read this whole post ;)

Now see...

Kim would never write something that snarky, 

but someone has to and it might as well be

me.

;)

xo

rue

I know, I know

I'm awful.

It's February and I haven't posted since December.

It can be hard getting back on the blogging wagon though.

Not as hard as last time, when I left for a few years, but difficult nonetheless.

I had made a plan to jump right back in, but you know the saying...

"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

In other words, life went topsy turvy right after I promised you I would start blogging more than I had been.

Nothing too bad, but it caused a bit of a delay.

Ah life..... there's always something, isn't there?

I'm not going to let it stop me from doing what I love though.

And I do love this.

The connection with all of you.

The clickety clack of the keyboard as I type out sometimes silly, but mostly heartfelt words.

Funny thing this little world we share. It somehow becomes apart of us, doesn't it?

I know it's that way for me.

No matter how long I leave, I can't seem to give it up ;)

And nor would I want to.

I just miss all of this and you too much.

xo,

rue

PS

All the pictures are from Christmas.

Sneaky way to do a catch up post, huh? 

;)

My 100th post

I had a different post lined up for today.

That was until I realized that this would be my 100th post.

When I saw that number it seemed very small, but very big at the same time.

I thought back to that December day when I realized I wanted to come back...

My life had changed so much since I had blogged last time and Blogland had gone on without me.

To anyone else, 100 posts wouldn't be that big of a deal.

But to me...

 this is a milestone.

A big one.

When I started to write my first post I was nervous and I didn't know what to do, so I wrote...

"Hello again world"

I had no idea what would happen.

It was so weird to write to a non-existent audience.

It had been around three or four years since I left and I was worried that no one would remember me, so I didn't comment anywhere.

I didn't know what to say to those friends that I'd left behind.

In fact, as soon as I finished that first post and clicked on publish, I thought that I had made a mistake.

I was wrong.

No one knew I was here for four days and then I got a comment.

It was from Kim.

Tears came to my eyes.

Then eventually all of you started leaving comments and I was overwhelmed with happiness.

I was no longer writing to myself, like I thought I would be.

To those of you that are new, that have become my friends, and those of you that are my dear old friends...

I want to thank you so much for coming along on my new journey.

You have no idea what it means to me that I have been welcomed back with a joy that I didn't think would ever come when I started up again. 

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart.

It means so much to me that I still have a place here and that you care.

It really truly does.

xo

rue

Blogging nostalgia

My apologies ahead of time for the following pictures, but they're screen shots of my computer taken with my camera.

Here's a nice one, before we get to the rest of the bad ones on this post ;)

Well, I think Bubba sleeping on a chair is nice ;)

Anyway...

Today, I finally sat down and actually went through the screen shots of my old blog, that were on the Internet Archive: Wayback Machine.

A couple of sweet friends, Liz  and Cindy, told me about the site when they saw this post.

There's not much there, but enough to look up some old blogging friends.

And also to see how embarrassing some of my posts were and my sad attempts at a header.

This is one of them from 2008:

Look at that post title... "Tagged!"

HA!

Still love Susie Q though ;)

In case you don't know, tagging was a "thing" back then.

You were asked a series of questions and you were supposed to answer them and pass them on.

I'll pass on showing my answers on here (cringe).

Here's a look at my blog after I finally gave up trying to do it myself and paid someone else to do it:

I'm thinking about doing that again.

I truly suck at technical things.

Then there was the awards.

Oh my... how exciting! You were "in the loop" if you received them. It meant that you had been noticed and your blog was something special.

Check out the title of this post:

I'm still thankful for all the awards I received, because people went out of their way to let me know how much they enjoyed reading my blog.

That's a nice thing to know, especially when you're not sure why anyone visits you in the first place ... cough... cough... and even more so when you're new to Blogland.

Back then, I always made sure the newbies got one.

Encouragement goes a long way.

Sadly, it's rare these days.

Anywho...

Eventually, it became passe and people put up "Award free blog".

Sigh.

So, let's see a glimpse of who made comments!

I think the only one left on this screen shot, that's still blogging, is sweet Brenda.

We've known each other for a long time, haven't we, my friend? :)

Eventually my blog list got so big, it had it's own page.

How sad is it that most of these people are gone?

Kasey from Lola B's... Love Leigh Things.. Mabel's House...

Lynne is still around though!

Tina, Cherry, Ruth Ann, Cynthia, and Joni are still blogging too!

Although most of them, not as often.

Oh and those buttons on the side...

That was a thing then too. Or is it still?

Sometimes I see them, sometimes I don't.

Oh well...

I think the worst thing, besides seeing my ex-husband's pictures and my old "about me" on there (more cringing here), was going through the list of blogs and only finding about 1/4 of them still blogging.

Some said goodbye and some just disappeared, like I did.

I hope that every one of them is happy wherever they are and that one day they'll come back like me and say hello.

All this to say, I knew it would be hard to take a look back, but I just didn't realize how hard.

Sadly, those early days of blogging are long gone and we'll never get them back, but I'm happy to be blogging again and for the new friendships I've made.

I really am :)

While I was writing this post, I thought of this quote:

"Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful."

Make it beautiful?

Well, I'll do my best, but I can't promise anything ;)

xo

rue

Storytime

Lately, I've noticed that there's a lot of bloggers out there that have to remind themselves, on their own blog, that they shouldn't compare their lives to what we see on other's blogs.

This isn't a new thing.

In fact, the whole time I was blogging the last time, there was a rat race to show how perfect everyone's life was and a lot of jealousy about it.

I still see it out there.

I've been jealous myself.

I know it's not reality.

You should too.

No one's house looks like that all the time, especially those with all the white interiors. (I know this because I had a white slipcovered couch for about 10 minutes a few years back.)

God knows my house doesn't look like my pictures all the time.

Even Bunny William's house doesn't.

Seriously.

Although, it might, since she could have a maid or two...

but I digress....

You know darn well that tired husbands are coming home after a hard day at work, plopping their stinky feet up on that tufted ottoman, drinking a beer, and eating nachos on that new couch.

Kids are jumping all around on the couches and beds, like animals, with grape jelly on their hands, wiping it on the walls, and Cheetos are flying in all directions. 

The dog is going potty on the new jute rug (or whatever is "in" now) and the cat is coughing up a hairball in the corner. Not to mention the shedding that goes on.

You know this, because if you've had husbands, kids, and/or animals, it's gone on at your house and it's gone on in mine.

All I picture when I see these beautiful interiors is these woman pulling their hair out, because I've wanted to do the same when it happens here.

The ladies that decorate in all white are very very brave women in my opinion and I commend them, because I couldn't handle it.

I'm not kidding in the least about that.

So here's my story....

My last blog was about my life with my now ex-husband. 

My "Peanut Butter and Jelly Life".

Or so I thought.

The truth is, although I thought I was happy, there was a lot more going on behind the scenes. Some things I knew and some that I wasn't aware of.

No, I won't get into the dirty details, because it isn't the point of the story.

Yes, there were struggles in our everyday life, just like everyone has, and no, I didn't share them then either. I only put the happy stuff out there, because I wanted my blog to be a happy place. 

On top of everything, my home always looked perfectly clean in every picture, unless it was in the midst of a remodel.

Let's face it, no one wants to read about the fact that your husband won't put his laundry in the basket and won't change the toilet paper roll or that you can't stand his family or that the kids are being jerks that week or see your house a dirty wreck.

Well, maybe you do, you sickos :p

But like I said, I wanted a place for people to come and relax and be happy.

I didn't lie, I just didn't air my dirty laundry or house, and there's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with it if you do either, because it's your blog.

I do the same thing with this blog as I did with the last one, albeit less personal.

I don't show dirt and dust or my daughter's room when it looks like a war zone. Nor do I air the dirty laundry of my life, unless I feel it might be relevant to the blog.

When you come to visit me here, I want you feel something, but hopefully not anger or jealousy, because you think I live a perfect life with a perfectly clean house.

Trust me, that's not the case.

Happy, yes.

Perfect, hell no.

I'm looking at dust balls as I type this and I'm pretty sure my lap is covered in dog hair, because Bubba has been sleeping on it for the last hour as I type this.

Although, he's pretty perfect ;)

Anywho,

I want you to be happy, when I post something happy.

I want you to be interested, when I find something interesting.

I want you to learn something about old houses or whatever other tangent I go on, even if it isn't your taste.

Mostly, I want you to come here, because it's a joy and not a burden.

My point?

No one's life is perfect, even if it appears so.

Trust me on this.

Be happy with what you have.

Love the life you live.

Enjoy the home you're in.

And don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses, because their life isn't perfect either, no matter what the camera lens shows.

xo

rue

PS

The cloud pictures were taken from my back yard.

Not your average blogger

Have you met Dewena? 

She has a very sweet blog called Dewena's Window now, but she used to write on a blog called Across the Way.

I honestly can't remember how I met her, but she either found me or I stumbled through Blogland and came across her new one.

The picture of her header drew me in first (when you see it you'll know why), but then her words and her warmth made me stick around.

She's really an absolutely lovely person.

Anyway, as I was reading her old blog from the beginning. as I sometimes do when I find those unusually warm ones, I suddenly noticed something very familiar.

 A lot of our posts from our old blogs were eerily similar. We have a passion for the way things used to be and a love of old things.

Not only that, but one day she up and quit, just as I did.

Now obviously I shut mine down, because of one major thing, but a part of me quit for another reason....

There's a lot of pressure in Blogland. 

Sometimes we put it on ourselves.

Sometimes others put it on us.

Sometimes it's a combination of the two.

The one thing I promised myself when I came back was to not put pressure on myself, like I did before.....

Is this post good enough?

How many readers do I have?

Does anyone care about such and such?

I need to post more!

I need to visit everyone!

I need to buy more stuff!

I need another project!

I need a whole new look!

Blah.... blah.... blah ....

Sigh.

It's so silly, when you think about it.

You know why I came back?

Because I missed the camaraderie.

You know what I didn't miss or come back for?

The "keeping up with the Jones" mentality.

So here's the deal...

You won't see me posting a new vignette every week, because once I figure out what I like, it rarely changes.

(Hear that clicking? That was a few bloggers leaving.)

I won't be changing up my rooms every five minutes, because I hardly ever move my furniture around and I do not paint antiques ... imagine that!

(I think I just heard the sound of a few more bloggers taking me off of their lists)

I don't do new and unusual "tablescapes", because I only have five sets of dishes. Three of which are my great grandmothers and two are for everyday use.

(Did you hear that thump? I think a few tablescaping ladies just fainted on that one.)

That's great for everyone else, but it's just not me.

For those of you that have stuck around and decided to hear me out though...

What you will get here is all the warmth, love and friendship that I'm able to give via Blogland.

Yes, I have a few projects that I need to take care of and I'll share them when I can, but I'm not your average blogger.

As Dewena put it in one of her posts...

My home is a "memory box."

 It's filled with what I love and cherish and it's not a designer's blank canvas.

In fact, I'm not a designer at all.

I'm just "rue."

I hope that's enough.

xo

I wonder...

I wonder where a lot of my friends have gone.

I've found a few and a few have found me, but not as many as I had hoped. I don't know if they're still out there and I can't find them or they gave up long ago.

I know some did, but what about the others?

I'm still looking, but it's hard, because when I erased my old blog the blogroll went with it.

On that note.... 

From what I can tell, the blogroll is 'out' for the most part, but I'm not a trend setter (obviously), nor am I a fan of change as far as most things go, so I have one anyway. 

If you don't, that's fine, but how else do you let people know what blogs you enjoy? 

I've always thought it was interesting to see what people read and also find new blogs that you've never seen before, but what do I know?

So....

My old friends, 

If you happen to know of any other old friends that are still out there from the old days, please let me know. And if you're still in contact with the ones that left, please tell them I miss them. 

I really do.

And....

My new friends, 

If you have any favorites, please let me know about those too. It's nice to discover lovely blogs :)

Some of the old friends that I contacted haven't answered me back.

Are they mad at me?

I know I left suddenly with a large rant that didn't make any sense at the time, but I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. 

I was hurt myself.

I'm truly sorry for that and I wish I could take it back.

Maybe they don't remember me. 

I understand. 

It's been a very long time.

Anyway,

I'll keep searching and hopefully one day find everyone that's still around.

In the meantime, 

thank you to those that are still here and are willing to come with me on this new journey.

It truly means a lot.

xo,

rue