Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Where to begin....



Well, I guess I should start out with...

I'm sorry.

I truly am.

I know many of you were worried.


I kept meaning to sit down and start blogging again, but for some reason, I couldn't find the words.

I'm still struggling actually.


Anyway,

I honestly didn't mean to be gone so long.

It's odd how fast time passes while you're trying to get your life back in order.

And that's what I've been doing.



When something in my life doesn't go the way it should or the way I had hoped, I tend to shut down. Last time I erased my blog, because I couldn't stand to look at all the happiness that was no longer there.

I promise I won't do that this time.

It's one of the reasons I didn't share much of my private life on here.

I didn't want to have it out there, in case it didn't work out.

I suppose that was a sign that I knew it wouldn't, somewhere in the recesses of my mind.

And I was right.

I'm no longer with him.

I won't go into the details, but let's just say that you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves.

No matter how hard you try.

So once again, I'm starting over.


Liz has some great advice about that...



She's right, you know.

And you know what?

I'm happier now.

Much

Much

Happier :)

But, it's going to take me a bit to get back into the swing of things, so please have patience.

I have a lot to catch up on and many emails to get to.

Thank you for caring so much.

Also...

Please forgive me for disappearing.

I didn't mean to.

xo
rue




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103 comments:

  1. Takes awhile and then some to grieve a loss. Take more time if need be and continue to do what one of my favorite actress said "one foot in front of the other".
    Just be and hug your doggies, Kathleen in Az

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  2. We all need time to pull back and live and deal with our lives. I am sorry for the pain that you have been going through. Take all of the time that you need. Your friends will be here. xo Laura

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  3. Just so you know we care. Glad you are who you are. We all have our ways of dealing with hurt so understand the down time. On a more selfish note, I'm looking forward to future post from an amazing gal😊
    You take care.

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  4. We missed you. Don't you hide in a hole again. They call out the cavalry and that's me.
    Brenda

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    1. That's right! I'm the one who "called out the cavalry", lol. I've been so worried about you! Bless your heart, you have been through so much and am so sorry for what you've gone through. I hope that you can at least peek out of your hiding place once in awhile and say hello to us. I would think that most of us (your blogger friends) will be compassionate and understanding. And I sincerely miss your posts. Your blog has always been one of my favorites. Love, hugs and blessings to you.

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  5. No sorries necessary, my friend. I am sorry the you have to go through this. Sending big, huge hugs and please do not feel compelled to rush to email. Just knowing you are ok is good enough for me. Said it before...wish we lived closer. xoxo

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  6. The most important person to take care of is YOU! As women, lots of times we put ourselves last. So I'm glad you have taken time for you! And take as much time as you need. I love that "alone" saying you posted. That's me right now... getting ready to move, to be alone, but not lonely. Doing it for Me. I so enjoy your blog and your home and look forward to your new adventures!

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  7. Just happy that you're still there and pleased to hear that you're happy again. That makes me really happy too. You, your gorgeous daughter and the fur babies are what I want to here about. We all missed you, but now your back and that's all that matters. Love and hugs being sent your way.

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  8. I was so happy to see your blog just now! I am sorry for the pain that you are going through. Take care of yourself & life will work itself out. Welcome back!

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  9. Oh...I've missed you...good to hear from you! No need to apologize...I totally understand. Love Liz's advice! Sorry you had to go through all this...but you sound a little happier...and that's all that's important! ;)

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  10. Hey, I understand very well. I have been down since May 25th due to a bad fall which damaged my left hip, left knee, and left big toe. The toe was dislocated, my knee damaged beyond repair so must be replaced, and hip injured so always in pain from all 3. I am having total knee replacement July 20th and then rehab. I am usually very active and have been so depressed as cannot do anything. Friends have taken me to appointments as need to be wheeled in. They have shopped for me and visited me and been so helpful. But they cannot be here all the time. I stare out the windows while sitting on a walker at my gardens I cannot go out in to and enjoy. Makes me sad. I hope whatever has been affecting you is solved or soon solved and you can enjoy things. I usually would be out hiking and taking photographs and sharing our beautiful world. Miss my freedom.

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  11. So glad you're coming out on the other side! Missed you! If you need more time, then take it. I don't respond much, but I always read!

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  12. So pleased to see you back on your blog Rue ... but sorry to hear that things have been far from good. The words from Elizabeth Taylor are so true.

    Take your time, look after yourself.

    I know I am (and I'm sure all your blogging friends are too) thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way

    All the best Jan

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  13. Hip hip hurrah! Welcome back, I've checked your blog every day. It takes a strong woman to face up to having to end a valued relationship. I'm so sorry it did not work out.
    Best wishes. Hope you feel a little bit better soon.

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  14. I am so sorry to know that you have been through some difficult times. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, and I hope that sharing like this helps you in some small way to heal and to move forward. Sending you a warm hug.

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  15. I was so happy to see you finally post, dear Rue! So glad you are alright! It sounds like you've learned a lot in this absence. That's good! I went for a long time not being able to make myself post on my blog, but while going through some old posts, I started to really miss it. Try that and see if it gets you going. And if you run across some painful posts, you can always put them into draft mode to hide them. Whatever works for you, my dear. Just please do post. You're an integral part of the blogosphere and you are missed when you go away.

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  16. been checking to see if your back and I am glad you are.....some times those steps are hard to take, but best if we do.....wishing you well

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  17. I think Liz's advice is sound. Just do you. And let all the other stuff go.Sending warm wishes your way!

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  18. Oh, Rue! I was so glad to see a post from you! I'm sorry for all you must have gone through but you're shining through as one tough little cookie! You've been in my heart and prayers. Just take your time, we'll be here.
    Hugs,
    Shelia ;)

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  19. So glad to hear from you, dear Rue. So sorry for all you've gone through. Sending you happy and healing thoughts. Remember your word-Restore. I hope you can do that for yourself! Many hugs to you,

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  20. So happy to see you back again. You were missed.

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  21. So sorry about what you've been going through Rue. I'm glad to know you are okay. I can imagine it hasn't been an easy road, but you keep hanging in there. You are so beautiful inside and out, so much to offer someone...and you deserve the best in life...so with that being said, I believe God has something better in store for you and for your future. When one door closes He will open another door, he knows what's best. Take good care of you. God Bless You!

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  22. Yeah!! welcome back!πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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  23. Wishing you peace and strength, so sorry you are going through such a difficult time.

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  24. Sometimes we need to take time to regroup and come up with a new plan. Cheers to the next chapter and we can't wait to have you back, girl friend.

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  25. Sweet Rue, you take all the time you need! What a trying time you have gone through and I am truly sorry you have been hurting. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you all the best for this next chapter in your life. You are a precious lady and I know there is much in store for you.

    Much love and sweet hugs!

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  26. Hello Friend,
    You take your time and heal. We all be waiting to see that lovely home of yours and your sweet pets. :-) Love ya!
    Sending a Big Hug!
    Carla

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  27. Oh sweetie, I so understand. Get to where you need to be...do what you need to do...take care of yourself. I'm glad you decided to post...I wondered what had happened to you. Take care <3

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  28. Sometimes it takes us a while to remember what it's like to live without walking on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop but then slowly but surely we remember and day by day we return to our true selves. Take your time...we'll be here.

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  29. Ugh. Heart aches are the worst. Oh I have soooo been there and done that- maybe Liz has a point, eh?
    Well my heart skipped a beat when I saw you posted - no longer am I fearing the worst, that you weren't with us anymore..............praying for you and wishing you every happiness. Hang in there.

    Hugs. ♥

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  30. Dear Rue, you really don't owe anyone explanations, but I'm glad to see you again. I tend to do as you expressed--shutting down when things aren't OK. We all have our own way in dealing with pain and heartache and sometimes nothing helps. Just know we're here whenever you are up to blogging again, and if you're not, then there's nothing wrong with that either.

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  31. Miss you Rue. Sometimes life can turn on a dime. Glad you are coming through this and looking forward to the journey ahead. Liz Taylor is right just managing to put one foot in front of the other is a great start. Good luck as you find your way.
    Kris

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  32. Rue,
    I do the very same thing--when things go awry, I retreat! That is some great advice from Liz for sure!I am so glad you are happier now and it's good to have you back here! You were missed. Best wishes,
    Linda

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  33. Dear Rue, You know all of us blog readers of yours will be here no matter how long you need to sit and be in thought. I am so happy you have that lovely little home of yours to enjoy the summer months. If you travel to NYC lunch is my treat! Smile that beautiful smile each day and friends do wait for friends. Blessings to you, your son and daughter always! :) Robin in NYC

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  34. In the words of Mammie, "it ain't fittin, it just ain't fittin!!!"
    Things go wrong....just learn and move on. The sooner the better.
    Get back to the things you enjoy and time will heal all wounds.
    Been there and done that.
    Addie

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  35. Life can be so hard. I am sorry you had to go through this but am glad you knew the right thing to do for yourself and your daughter and then did it. It takes courage. I'm glad to see this update and hope to see you blogging regularly soon.

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  36. Dearest Rue ~ No need to say your sorry to your friends. You have been missed, and it is good to see you back again. Grieving a loss takes time, starting over also takes time, one day at a time.

    May you feel love, peace and strength flowing through and surrounding you with each new day.

    Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady

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  37. dearest Rue .. apologies aren't necessary. you are living life and sometimes it's messy (boy do i know that..). you were wise to step back and care for "things" .. especially YOU. it's SO good to see you back in blogdom. you're well loved, admired, appreciated. bless you dearly... ♥

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  38. You have been missed but you don't owe anyone an explanation. The most important thins is that you are taking care of yourself and that YOU are happy! Continue to focus on that, the rest of the "stuff" can wait!

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  39. Focus on you for now. Sending lots of good wishes and strength your way. Milena

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  40. Oh Rue, truer words were never said, "you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves". I've been there and like you ended up so hurt, but also like you I realized that I have to live my life for me and my happiness. You will grieve and then move on. Meanwhile your blogging family is always here for you. We missed you but know you need time to heal. Big Hugs!!

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  41. Rue, I'm so sorry for the rough time you've been going through. I've been missing your blog, and so happy to hear you haven't disappeared altogether. It would be a loss to all of us! But, of course, you need time to take care of yourself and your life. I'm glad to hear you're happier. I'll pray that you continue to recover and heal and feel better. xo Deborah

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  42. Sorry you are having a rough time. Wish I could help. Hope it's all better soon.

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  43. Never apologize for taking care of yourself. I actually felt your post thru my body. Such pain - I want to just hug you. You are a miraculous spirit and treat yourself as such. There is a wonderful line in a Don Henley song called "My Thanksgiving" - "sometimes the best light is from a burning bridge". Look it up. so true. Letting go of people is one of the hardest things to do - but when you realize that you are happier without them or the problems they bring - you breathe a little easier. I hope your days are getting easier - and don't watch the news for a week and see if that helps and buy yourself a huge bouquet of flowers. I suffer from great depression and it is hard to see the beauty sometimes. I wish I was your friend. From one that has never commented but have always loved your adorable house and blog.

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  44. My goodness, Rue! I haven't been well and hence, not on the computer much, since April. I hope you do as Ms. Taylor says and put one foot in front of the other. That's all we can do. Many hugs to you, my friend.

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  45. My goodness, Rue! I haven't been well and hence, not on the computer much, since April. I hope you do as Ms. Taylor says and put one foot in front of the other. That's all we can do. Many hugs to you, my friend.

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  46. I've missed you, sweet Rue, but I knew you were going through something....and apparently you deal with it the same way I do....you go inward. I had to make the same decision with my marriage a number of years back, and although it was hard and I will always love him, I'm glad I did....because he still hasn't gotten help. Good luck to you my friend - I'll be thinking of you and sending you hugs. xo

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  47. I am so sorry this happened to you, but am happy that you are moving on. You can do this. I know you can.♥

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  48. When you blog you extend your friends and family. You just really do. We "know" you, if in limited ways but, we do know you and we think of you and do care how you are doing. I think that is part of what I love about blogging so much.
    We are all behind you 100% in good and bad.
    You will come out of this with grace. It's who you are.

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  49. I have missed you. I have checked in often--sometimes leave comment sometimes not. Take all the time you need. And know that uou have friends here who will listen to you and support you and we will hold you up until you GET THROUGH IT---- and you will yes you will

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  50. I was thinking about you the other day wondering where you were and how you were and had put you on my list of people to get in touch with and there you pop up with a post! Perhaps you or I knew somehow. I am sorry to hear that you have been away because you have been having difficult times. I hope that you know that your blog friends are here and will be here - even if you have gaps in blogging or if we do - and will support you and be your friend and cheer you on just as if we were right there next to you giving you a hug. It doesn't matter that we are miles away we are with you in spirit and hoping for nothing but the very best for you. Take care of yourself my dear and know that you have many friends. Hugs and hugs! xx

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  51. glad you posted and sorry to hear what sounds like a rough rough patch you've been through. All I know is when things are painful and loss has occurred the only way I get through it is to know there is something better up ahead and there always is. Here's to a bright adventurous future as you release the past. all the best to you.

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  52. Hi Rue, I was so happy to see your post in my inbox. Life has it's changes doesn't it? As you gather yourself to start again, just know, better days are ahead!! Sending you big hugs and friendship.

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  53. Rue, I just kept checking off and on figuring you'd post again when you were ready : ) Why should you be sorry.

    You should not. Hang in there / hugs

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  54. Happy to see a post from you Rue. You have certainly been on my mind...just know that we will all be here when you are ready.
    Sending big hugs
    Jeannette

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  55. Rue, I would check your blog everyday when I got home from work - so you have been in a lot of hearts and minds! Know that we're all pulling for you! And glad you're back - no matter how little or how often! Hugs to you!

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  56. I'm glad to hear you are OK. I stop in every once in a while to check...

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  57. Rue, so good to see a post from you. I was afraid you would go away again. I'm so sorry things didn't work out the way you planned or hoped for. I do the same thing when hurt, I retreat into myself. I've had times I thought about deleting my blog but eventually I come out of it and I'm glad I didn't. Take all the time you need but know you have many friends out here that want to help in any way we can. (((hugs)))

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  58. Congratulations! It sounds like you chose you! Fresh starts are a beautiful thing. I hope you make the most of whatever new adventures are ahead of you!

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  59. I'm glad you made the right choice for yourself and I know you are strong enough to make a new life for yourself.

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    1. Rue, Many Blessings and Peace be with you.
      Sandy

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  60. I was wondering about you a few days ago. It sounds as though you made the right decision, but even when we know things are right, doesn't make them any easier. I hope you are able to get back to feeling good and enjoying your new life again soon. Hugs and prayers, Vicky

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  61. Take your time, Rue, and I am glad you are happier now so you are going the right direction....Christine

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  62. I'm glad you're back! And at the same time sorry things did not work out for you. A big big hug.
    Amalia
    xo

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  63. ((((((HUGS))))) I will admit that I have been worried about you and kept checking to see if you had written a new post. I don't know how I missed seeing this one until now other than to say that life has gotten crazy around here too. I am glad that you feel like you are ready to come back to the land of blogging because you have been very missed my friend.

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  64. ((((((HUGS))))) I will admit that I have been worried about you and kept checking to see if you had written a new post. I don't know how I missed seeing this one until now other than to say that life has gotten crazy around here too. I am glad that you feel like you are ready to come back to the land of blogging because you have been very missed my friend.

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  65. You can do hard things! Believe in yourself, and keep your chin up, Buttercup :)
    Sending warm wishes for a happier tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.... and so on.
    {{hugs}}
    ~K.

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  66. Rue, just passing by to let you know that you have been, and still are, in my thoughts. Warm hugs to you. In February of this year I went through a very long a deep depression, the longest and hardest one I had ever experienced in my life and for a while I had stopped blogging, so I do empathize. Just know that you are cared about by many.

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  67. Rue, just passing by to let you know that you have been, and still are, in my thoughts. Warm hugs to you. In February of this year I went through a very long a deep depression, the longest and hardest one I had ever experienced in my life and for a while I had stopped blogging, so I do empathize. Just know that you are cared about by many.

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  68. So happy to see an update. I've been concerned but knew that you would surface at some point. Use this as a growing time. Be kind to yourself and heal. Keeping you in my prayers!

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  69. Rue, I have been so worried about you, girl. Sending hugs your way. xxoo

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  70. Well I just found your blog a week or so ago and went back and read ALL of your posts from the beginning. ENJOYED each and every one! I LOVE that you didn't 'gut' your sweet haven. People that insist on granite counter tops and stainless steel . . . no imagination or soul (I guess that's a bit harsh:) In regards to you dressing vintage - you go girl! It fits you so well. And I adore your little four footed loves. Thank you for all the time, energy and love that goes into your blog. I live in the Pacific Northwest - a Washington native ( and I love the rain!).

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  71. Rue, I am glad that you are much happier now and am only sad that the giving way hurt so much. Hope that you will be back to blogging when it suits you and not a minute before. I tend to isolate when things are not going tickety-boo myself.

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  72. Rue, I think Elizabeth Taylor put it very well: "Then you go about the business of living." Only *then* can you go about the business of blogging! We'll be here when you're ready. Hugs!

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  73. Good Morning Rue!
    I am hoping that your doing well and will be back with us soon. I miss all of your wonderful thoughts and pictures of your life that you share! So down to earth & wonderful.
    Thanks for just being you!

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    1. Welcome back Rue......your a beautiful person, Can you survive this isn't the question its the destination....your headed in the right direction. stay well
      Lois @ pineridge hills

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  74. Just wanted to let you know m thinking about you.

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  75. My daughter who has four kids, had to do the same thing, Rue, because her ex wouldn't get help, either. Someone at church this past weekend, told me that God didn't mean for us to go through life miserable. How true! Now you can go forward. Love and blessings to you.

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  76. So sorry, Rue. I've been coming back to check you blog but just now saw this post. I know you will get through this and be better and happier than ever. Give yourself time. Thinking of you and sending a {{{hug}}}}

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  77. Rue, you were on my heart today and I had to pop in to check on you. I'm praying things are getting better for you and know - I miss you.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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  78. Wow, that quote by Elizabeth Taylor is everything. Amazing words. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I've thought of you often over the last couple of months. As for struggling for words, I get it. Happens to me too. I'll be thinking about you Rue, I hope things get better.

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  80. Rewriting my comment again, as I don't think prior one went through....
    Finding the right words to write at times when one is hurting and feeling vulnerable is heartbreaking within itself......
    Especially when one wears her heart on her sleeves.... as you do. You are an authentic, soulful, beautiful, transparent soul who shares with us from your heart. We are here for you no matter what and whatever you share; whatever you write; whatever you live....... we love you.

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  81. How did I miss this post from July? Probably because I was hiding out from blogging then myself. June and July were months of loss for me, dealing with emotions that shocked me, missing home more than I ever thought I would, missing our sons even while knowing they were fine. It was just their mama who wasn't fine. Like you, I go to ground too when I'm hurting. Almost becoming a hermit. And then there were so many of my blog friends who were missing the same time as I was and it felt like that world was shattered for me too.

    Rue, I'm so glad you chose Elizabeth to quote. I watched The Sandpipers this afternoon. We women have so much to learn from each other and we can help each other. We're not perfect but that doesn't seem to matter. What does matter is that we truly do hurt for each other, deeply hurt.

    There will be great rejoicing among us when we see a new post here, and I'm going to search to see if I can find a subscribe to new posts link here. You are one of the most authentic souls I've had the privilege to know and you are well worth waiting on.

    Bless you. Miss you so much.
    Dewena

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  82. Hi Rue, I just emailed you after seeing your comment from so long ago on my blog. I'm so happy to "see" you and I can relate to what you've said here very much. Hugs and love. Missed you my friend!

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  83. We're ready for you to come back now.....

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  84. Just stopping by to say Hello! Wishing you all the best.

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  85. I woke up this morning thinking, "I haven't seen Rue around lately..better ck on her today"
    So sorry things seem to be troubled right now for you...and hope things get better soon...
    I hate unrest in my life...I like things going smoothly...of course...we all do...but life gets in the way sometimes.
    Thinking of you....

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  86. Dear Rue, I was so sorry to hear about your sadness. I do understand, because I am the same, I also go to ground when I am upset. I am silent. Its my way of coping.
    I have been absent from blogging myself, because of sadness within my family. Like you, its not something I wish to share, some things remain private to us, we don't need to share everything. Its how I cope. The kind wishes from friends, for me, always makes things harder to deal with, so to say nothing and not let on, is the way I survive and survive I have.
    I am much older than you, and I don't want to shower you with words of wisdom, that does not help right now. Instead, what I want to say is, believe me, with the strength of character you seem to possess, you will come through this. You will recover. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. It is alright to go through these emotions, but please, give yourself time to recover.
    I am thinking of you.
    With warmest wishes to you.
    Daphne

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  87. Hello dear Rue... I have been missing in "blogland" quite a bit lately myself, and wanted to check on you... I know there are no words to heal the hurt in your heart, but please know you are in my prayers! Hugs to you my friend, praying for you!

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  88. Sure do miss you, dear. I pray everything is getting back to normal...at least a little bit!

    Grace & Peace,
    Pam

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  89. ...just stopping back by to say I am thinking of you...and hoping things are coming back together in a more normal, happy way.....xo

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  90. Miss you - come back when you're ready - but don't forget your friend in blogworld are a great support network. Put those feet in front of you (not at same time or you will fall and break your nose and that won't help) but one in front of the other and just share a pic of a bird or something, just to let us know you are ok................xxoo ♥♥♥

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  91. Oh, Darling, I'm praying you're getting your "Rue" back on! I just wanted to check on you and know I'm thinking of you.
    Shelia ;)

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  92. Just checking in to see how you are. I too am praying for you. Take care

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  93. Hi everyone :) I'm so sorry I've been gone again. I miss all of you terribly. I'll be back soon. I'm starting to get my mojo back ;) Love, me

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    1. Hi Rue,
      I have been MIA for awhile...
      I was glad to see that you just posted a comment at the end here saying that you will be back soon! I have always love reading your posts!!
      I was so sorry to read about your friends passing, my thoughts are with you!
      Hugs! Kimberley

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  94. Hi Rue. I've been away from Blogland for quite awhile. Just needed a break and a chance to reassess my life. Anyway, I'm checking in with old friends and stopped by to catch up with you. I see your comment above that you may be back soon. I hope you will. I'm blogging again and happy to reconnect with my blogging buddies. Happy Thanksgiving! Nancy

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  95. Wow! Where did you get that long black dress? So beautiful.

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