Friday, February 19, 2016

posting and commenting




One of my very dear friends wrote me the other day, after I mentioned on a post that I was sorry about not returning the favor of your lovely comments right away and that I was sorry.

She thought that maybe all of you would be fine with it and they probably would rather have me post more, but as I told her...

I'm not okay with it.

I completely understand what she's saying and she's probably right, but...

Here's the shorter version of what I wrote to her:

The truth is, I'd love to post more, but I feel guilty when I can't get back to everyone. I feel that if someone leaves a comment, that they deserve a return visit on their blog or a comment back if they don't have one. I suppose that it stems from the old days when it was a smaller community and when someone didn't comment back to me, I felt they were rude. Honestly I still do. I even go so far as to read every post I missed since I last visited. That's the OCD in me, but also the need to let someone know I care about their life. So many of them are faithful visitors and feel as though they have a connection to me that I can't let them down or feel left out. 

I know what it's like to be the one left out as a child and I know what it's like to be the new kid. I also know what it's like to leave a comment on a blog, when I didn't have one... scared to death! lol But these people comment anyway and they deserve something from me, even if it's just a thank you.

You see, back in the olden days of blogging, before it was this big giant place on the internets, it was a small group of ladies (very few men) that commented on each other's blogs.

It wasn't just a community.

It was a family.

We shared our homes.

Our lives.

Hopes.

Dreams.

And everyone commented back and forth.

Kinda like Facebook, without the angry weird stuff, and so much more.

After awhile, new people came around and started blogs that were meant to promote themselves and they didn't comment back when you commented.

People were shocked and felt shunned.

Who were these new bloggers?

Why do they think they're better than us?

The truth is, it just progressed and moved on to something much bigger than we ever thought it would be.

It's turned into a live magazine, a fashion show, a contest to see who has the biggest advertisers, and who can remodel their house faster with the latest trends.

And like I've said, I have no problem with any of that.

It's just not as personal anymore.

And although I miss the way it was, and although I'm a gal who loves the past and tries hard to embrace it as best I can, I know that life moves forward.

But here in my little place on the internets, I try very hard to make sure I make everyone that visits feels welcome.

I can't help it.

It's kind of like writing a thank you note and sending it in the mail.

Remember doing that?

I still do it, but that's beside the point ;)

Basically, it's called manners and even if it means posting less, I'm going to do my best to get to everyone eventually, even if it's only one time and even if they never come back.

Because to me it makes it more personal.

And as Meg Ryan once said, in a little movie called You've Got Mail...

"What's so wrong with being personal anyway?"

Nothing Meg.

Absolutely nothing.

xo
rue




74 comments:

  1. It is very well said. I feel very similar, but sometimes I miss a post, but then go to the next, and start visiting and commenting to everyone. Also, I always read the comments, and if I see anyone new, I visit them. Unfortunately, I've been dealing with a lot of pain this past year, and I can't take typical medication. I don't understand the google connect very well, and how to comment. Some I can figure out how they relate to the circle, but others I can't figure out at all. It's a shame, because I really would like to leave a comment. xoxo Su

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    1. What is google connect, she asks, in her ignorance....that's me. I just tonight figure out that i have comments made and replied to on my google mail site, which i never knowingly use, as i have another addy that is my automatic choice. It's not always rudeness, Rue, but sometimes ignorance.Now i know how some of the older people felt when expected to give up horses and buggy whips and take up driving a car. Too old to learn and too afraid to try, and maybe just too busy to bother, since the old ways worked pretty well.
      If i could figure it all to without making my brain explode, I'd love to have a blog, but not going to happen. Electronic communication changes too fast for me to even think of keeping up. Take it one day at a time and know that some of us are not expecting a personal answer...that much i've figured out in the modern world.......That you share your lovely house and your sincere thoughts and ideas is enough for some of us to be thankful about and we don't expect you to wind yourself into knots to reply to us.....

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  2. I agree with Butterfly, very well said. I've been blogging for 2 1/2 years and, from the beginning, I adopted the practice of answering every comment and email I received. I also visit a blogger if they were kind enough to visit and leave a comment. Is it hard to keep up sometimes? Yes, but I feel that if someone took the time to read my post and leave a thoughtful comment, the least I could do would be to reply. Just because I do it though, doesn't mean I expect every blogger that I visit reply or visit me. It would be nice but I understand that others may not think like I do, and that's really ok.

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  3. It is hard to keep up sometimes, that is one of the reasons I 'try' to thank all who visit and comment in my blog posts. I do 'try' to make it to blogs to read and post to them, but it doesn't always work out that way. This world is so fast-paced, so much going on, we have to and must, make our own solitude and try our best to be kind and use our manners as much as possible.

    I've stopped going to some high profile blogs because even though I may be inspired or like what I see, there is a certain coldness and more of a competition thing going on, if you know what I mean.

    I like the more 'homey' 'friendly' type of blogs and yours is certainly one that I like.

    Have a great weekend and don't ever worry about not commenting or sending an email, I understand.

    Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady

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  4. Hi Rue! Oh, you've said this very well and I feel just like you. It's a shame blogland has changed so but that's life, I guess. I will still continue to be just me. I understand some folks really need to make some money on their blogs but I just don't want those ads. Some are so annoying with the pop ups and I just leave when it's too hard to see the content of the posts! I wonder if they know people don't like that? Anyway, I feel obliged to comment back to every one who comments too except if I've been on a trip or taken a long break. There are a few bloggers whom I still heart connected too and you're one! You just keep being Rue and we'll always love you!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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  5. As someone who entered the blog world late (just a few scant years) I actually didn't know the rules. I've definitely picked up the rules as I've gone along, but I didn't realize how it worked at first. Gosh, I hate to think people thought I was rude if I didn't visit their blog and comment. It seems common sense now :-) I have to agree on the high-profile blogs too. They are cold. I follow a few of them for recipes, and one high profile blogger I still love for her voice, but for the most part, I love the small blogs. The ones that aren't showing off and share real life. I get so much more out of them. Plus, ugh, the sponsored posts. For the most part, I hate sponsored posts. There's a lot less of them in the small blogs.

    You keep doing you Rue, and I'll keep following. Doesn't matter how often you post :-) Have a great weekend!

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  6. Bravo! I completely agree with you. In fact, I am in the process of going back to old posts from JANUARY(!) and replying to comments because I feel so badly I didn't respond back then. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my full-time teaching job with blogging. Teaching is what pays the bills, but blogging is what keeps me sane. :-) However, I want to do a good job at both, and I don't feel like a good blogger if I don't have time to extend the common courtesy of visiting/replying back.

    BTW, I think conversations like this are getting to some of the bigger bloggers. I've noticed recently that some of them are returning visits and replying to comments...

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  7. Rue, You hit the nail on the head. Blogging sure has changed through the years. It always feels like home on your blog. I just wish I had found your old blog when you had it. If everyone just acted like they want to be treated, the whole world, not just Blogland, would be a better place.

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  8. I totally agree with you. I only post about twice a week, but I love to get comments and to return them. I don't get on the computer everyday, but I do make sure I return the comments made. I also like to go and make comments on blogs. Sometimes I will get a return and sometimes not. I think what bothers me the most is when you make comments on most of the posts a blogger makes and the person never returns a comment. I know people are busy, but I think blogs are here to read, learn, and meet people. I have noticed blogging has changed alot and some are just in it for the money. I have posted on them several times and never got a return. I usually just never revisit them. I don't expect comments on my blog immediately after posting and when I post a comment I don't expect them to return my comment immediately, but if they just acknowledge once in awhile that would be nice.

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  9. I agree and understand. Blogging takes a lot of time...it's not just about posting. It's also about visiting other blogs and being part of the blogging community. It's about connections and friendships - all of which need nourishing. This is just my opinion, but I'm continually reading a blog and commenting and that person never reciprocates, I'm done. I don't revisit. Have a great weekend, Rue!

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  10. Rue, I am with you on this one. I feel like I want to reply to comments. It just is how I feel and sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I don't but usually I do. I don't want to be a huge blogger or make money just connect with my blogging friends. I also don't stay long at blogs where the writer doesn't connect me. So continue to be you, it's why I visit.
    hugs,
    Linda

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  11. Rue, well said. We all have just so many hours in the day and can only do so much. That's why for the six years I've been blogging I post just once a week. I figure nobody has time to visit Delightful Repast every day. When I visit the blog of a commenter who posts to her blog multiple times a week, I often but not always read multiple posts (if I have time) but usually just comment on one. I find, too, that my weekly blogging schedule allows me time to respond to my readers and reciprocate. If I posted more than once a week, I simply wouldn't be able to do that. As others have commented here, I like blogs like yours that have a personal touch and not a lot of annoying pop-ups. I enjoy my little blogging community/family. Wishing you all the best, Jean

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  12. From a non blogger, I appreciate a response, but the majority that I respond to don't reply. I see them responding to a fellow blogger but not to non bloggers. And, a few I've become close to, we exchange emails about other things. Rue, I will note you and Kim have always replied and I appreciate. Post whenever you want, I'll enjoy!!

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    1. Thank you, Mimi. You're always so sweet.

      hugs to you

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  13. Good morning Rue,
    A few years ago I started reading blogs during a time when my life was in a upheaval . What I did find in the blogs I'm reading now is fellowship. One of my first blogs I read, her mom passed recently and so many kind comments, from bloggers and readers alike. Letting us in your life and home to me is very brave.
    Kathleen in Az

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    1. I don't know about brave... crazy maybe?

      If you asked me why I blog, I honestly don't have an answer except friendship. It's certainly not for any income LOL

      Anyway, thank you for reading, my friend.

      xo

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  14. It is always lovely to receive comments ... but not all who visit stop and comment.
    I don't think there is any 'hard and fast' rule about what is the correct blogging etiquette, we all have to do what we feel right with ...

    Interesting point you make about letter writing ... I do still love to send people notes or postcards through the mail ... it is just so lovely to send and receive them ... emails and texts are ok but you can't beat a good 'old fashioned' letter

    Enjoy your weekend

    All the best Jan

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  15. Yes, blogging sure has changed since I started five years ago. But I felt then and do now that it's only right to comment on other's blogs when we receive these sweet comments on our own. You keep doing the best you can, Rue. No one can ask for anything more. :)

    love, ~Sheri

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  16. You're so right, things have changed a lot. But I still feel the community with our little group. The ones that have been around a long time, and even some newer ones that like the "just part of the neighborhood" feeling. Funny, I am very curious and I read a lot about blogging. I read today where someone wrote this long article on how important community was. Like it's a new concept! As for the ones that don't return the favor, I leave them in the dust.
    Brenda

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  17. Rue, I totally agree! I have only been blogging for a little over two years, so I don't know what it was like in the old days, but I do know that the personal contact is what makes blogging so rewarding for me. I leave comments in my inbox until I return them, so I know I don't forget anybody. Sometimes it takes awhile but, like you said, it's just the mannerly thing to do. But it's not just obligation; it's a very real way of keeping contact with friends, new and old.
    And who doesn't love a real letter in their mailbox?!

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  18. Well said. I do try to always comment on blogs I visit and follow. On occasion I might not leave a comment on something posted that I do not relate to. I have been blogging 10+ years and have a variety of interests, so do visit many blogs. I like to let them know when I enjoy something, like an idea, etc. When someone leaves a comment it does make me feel good, so I try to do the same as often as possible.

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  19. I bumble along in blog land knowing nothing about all that bad stuff going on.
    I don't even think about it to tell you the truth. I follow blogs I like. and I have made wonderful friends through them.
    I do a post. lovely people comment. I answer their comments on that same post.
    it seems rather easy to me really.
    I have no idea if they come back to read my replies or not... but I like to think they do! that way it has been like a little visit.
    only about 18 or 20 comment now... so that's not a lot to keep up with.
    and I agree totally...
    life should be personal! so much about life now is IMPERSONAL!!!
    the minute I saw that picture from one of my favorite movies... I liked this post!
    and I like you rue. whether or not you ever visit the peanut again! LOLOL!
    you are worth knowing.
    no worries mate! xo♥

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    1. You are very thoughtful and kind but I must say there is very little time for anyone to come back a 'second' time to see a reply. I've seen that practice in the past ad I simply don't understand it. I couldn't even remember to come back. Perhaps you should reply by visiting their blogs. I say this in a very polite and helpful manner.

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  20. Rue,
    I hear you and I agree. I love comments and just like the post I put up yesterday because of my style with poetry and stories each post takes the two weeks between each post. I try to connect with substance and although I will show photos inside our house my blog is more than décor features, I want to leave people pondering and thinking and I leave comments of appreciation and encouragement. Seems like a constant flow of emails daily to get me to advertise on my blog, pop ups and side bar advertising, this is not what I am about, it is not my blogging style, I desire to reach people and touch their hearts and hopefully engage in dialog and friendship. Blogging with substance takes time, thought and effort and THAT is why I read your blog and enjoy the connection we have started to form in Blog Land, OK I expressed what's in my heart.
    xoxo,
    Vera

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  21. I always try to visit bloggers who leave comments at my blog and comment on theirs as well. Sometimes I might forget and I'm sorry when that happens because I know how much comments mean. It means a lot to me if someone takes the time to let me know they've read my posts! But, I also know there are those times when we're too busy, have a kitty on our lap (frequently in my case...lol!) and can't type, or a dozen other things that might keep us from commenting. If someone never ever comments after I've visited them numerous times, then I'm pretty much done, but I first try to give them a chance as I hope they do likewise for me. I don't usually respond back by email as some do unless they've asked a specific question and then I try to, or at least go to their blog and answer in a comment. This is a very good post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic!

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  22. I totally understand what you are saying. As a non blogger, I often leave comments on blog posts, and I never get a response. Other bloggers, will reply and notify their commenters if they reply, so we can have a real conversation. I don't know if you've ever replied to my comments, because I've never gotten an email from you, and I don't check back to your post, to see if you responded. I just don't have the time either. But...I'll still read all your posts...I like your perspective on things! Enjoy your evening! ;)

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    1. Donnamae, you're a no reply commenter, so I can't reply by email or I would. I appreciate it every single time you visit :)

      xoxo

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  23. Unless there is a reason (such as a question) to answer a comment, I like to just return the favor and stop by the commenter's blog and leave a comment. Also, seems that many commenter's have slipped accidently into being "no reply" bloggers. There is something going on with Blogger and their changes that causes this so I do tell people who I know this has happened to that they are now showing as a "no reply" blogger. I enjoy reading other blogs and especially love finding new ones, and even though this is my 6th year of blogging there are always so many new-to-me blogs to discover.

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  24. I do not have a blog (too old to understand how to wiggle-wag my way) anyway, what I like to read most, is not who has the "best" perfect kitchen, or who has the best house, best bedroom or best anything..... Altho, I like reading how to make rooms cozy with pillows, plants, and (things I can afford to do). I enjoy reading about other's everyday life, perhaps like my own, something I can relate to, their gardens, the art or antiques they like, whatever...I comment on a blog, because I want to just reply..not because what I had to say was important, but to talk about something I like or know a little about. I do enjoy getting a reply back. If I don't, I understand why not, the blogger is busy writing the new blog, Or because of course the blogger has a LIFE, and a family ....anyway..that said..love reading your blog.....

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    1. Well said, Bonnie. Thank you so much for commenting. It's important for me to hear from you, whether or not you think it is. I truly appreciate it :)

      xo

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  25. Very well said! And using a quote from my all time favorite movie too. :-) I love You've Got Mail and I agree with Meg 100%!
    And I like to do what you do. I understand.
    xx oo
    Carla

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  26. I get it! I am the same way although here lately I haven't had a moment to answer any comments! I am doing good to have time to read the two or three blogs I love the most! Of course, I really haven't had too many comments to answer...one would actually have to write a post for comments to be made! LoL

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  27. Like you, I do try to keep up and pop around and visit everyone who comments on my blog. Sometimes I do fall behind and I feel awful about that....but, also like you, I work full time and have a family and a busy life. I do love blogging, so I try really hard to make time to fit it in. You know what works for you and all of us who love your blog just enjoy each and every post, and we certainly don't judge if you don't have time to post more often! Hugs to you my friend xo

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    1. So, reading these comments I'm curious....I reply to all comments on my blog right on the post they commented on....are people seeing those replies? I sure hope so! Now I don't know what to do!

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    2. I am not sure why but I can not find the comment box.(-: Sorry if am replying to someone's reply somehow. (-:
      Just wanted to say I agree with you. I do understand though how everyone is so busy now days(-:
      I don't think people do go back and read the comment after they leave it. So I guess if a person wants to comment to that person they have to either email or go to their blog and leave a message. I have heard that over the years. I use to comment on the comment the person left me. )-:

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    3. Hi Cindee :)

      I looked for your blog, but I couldn't find it. Thank you for your comment :)

      xo

      Delete
  28. I do my best to be a courteous, thoughtful blogger; to reply to comments and return visits. Am I perfect at it? No. I fail quite a bit. But I never set out to intentionally shun someone. I make it a habit to reply to comments left on my blog and was shocked to read a comment on another blog that this is very irritating to some people. Wow, I didn't know I was ticking people off. How hard would it be for someone to reply to me the first time that happens and just kindly ask me not to send them an email reply to their comment? That seems to be the gracious thing to do instead of being angry about it and writing people off without an explanation.

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  29. I totally relate to everything you said. I also try to respond to everyone who comments on my blog, and pay a visit to their blog, in return. I feel enormously guilty when it takes me days (sometimes weeks) to respond, and visit, because other there are things in life besides the blog. Eventually I catch up (and, yeah, I am WAY behind at the moment).

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  30. Oh Rue, I completely understand! I feel guilty about putting up a post on my blog, but then not having time to visit all those that visit me.....but then I feel bad about not putting a post up because everyone knows I post on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday {book reviews on Saturday}. The blogging community is beautiful and there are such precious friends always there for us and I know I need to be there for them.

    To me, visiting and commenting comes with blogging and in all honesty, it's a joy and pleasure to visit you and others. You are such a dear and a beautiful lady.

    Hugs to you!

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  31. Oh Rue, I so resonate with this post! I think I should have started blogging before it got so big, because I actually enjoy the "smaller" blogs more than what I call the commercial ones. The ones who are in this for the friendships, kindred spirits, and encouragement keep me coming back. As you say, nothing wrong with those who've made it a business...that's just not where I am.
    I am a nester, and now that my kids are grown it's been fun to decorate in ways that aren't always practical with a family at home...thankfully, my husband is a good sport with it all.
    Mary Alice

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  32. Hi Rue, i liked your post and the photo you posted with it. I don't have a lot of followers because I don't comment all that much at blogs - probably about 10 or so. I visit a lot more though. I try to remember to comment but there are times something comes up and then I forget to get back to it.
    I enjoy everything you post and I'd rather see your posts than comment back to me, if it came down to it. I love your photos of your house and the little i've seen around the outside. Would love to see your neighborhood too. Anyway, have a great Sunday.

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  33. I've even thought, once or twice, about not having comments at all...just post about the things I love and close comments on all....but....then, I know I would miss the closeness that comes with leaving comments. So, I will keep my line of communication open....I don't think it's rude if people don't comment when I've commented on their blog...they are busy..they don't feel well..there's LIFE going on outside blogs...I still enjoy their posts...and I love your posts about your pretty house and things you have and how you decorate.
    I have, from the very start back in 2007, kept my blog very light...and I try for PRETTY...
    there's enuf things to worry all of us and I never want to put MY worries on every one else...
    so...please never worry about not commenting on my blog..I am honored that you will even read it. xoxoxo

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  34. I truly enjoyed this post. I do try to answer my comments but sometimes I just can't get to it. I feel so guilty when this happens. It is so difficult at times though since I work full time as a kindergarten teacher and then come home and work around home on various remodels and home improvements we are into at the time, cook supper and keep up the house. I do try to visit everyone as often as I can and enjoy it so much. Life just gets so busy sometimes. I hope you have a wonderful week!

    Hugs, Vicky

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  35. I feel the same way you do. If someone takes the time to comment on something I wrote, I feel honored that they took the time to do so. It really does mean a lot to me. I feel the need to thank them because I was also raised to show people that you appreciate them...it's just the right and nice thing to do. :)

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  36. I just discovered your blog and so happy that I did! The title "old fashion world" caught my eye! I am going now and read more of your post!

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  37. Rue,
    This was lovely. Blogging takes such a big part of our heart, time and souls. In order to write and photograph with substance and meaning it requires careful thought. Just like you, I too feel it is very important, caring, good manners and just plain the right thing to do-to comment and care.
    xo
    Jemma

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  38. Oh how true! I try my hardest to get back to everyone, for me it's not too hard yet because I don't have a huge following yet -I am pretty new at this. You've got mail is my absolute favorite fall movie to watch- and she is so right. Sometimes I do get sad when I take the time to write a thoughtful comment relevant to the topic and get nothing back, but I think what's worse is getting the generic comment like "nice post!" where you can tell they clearly didn't read anything you wrote... hehe

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  39. Well said. I don't post as often as I did before. I try to reply to any comments but I get so few it doesn't take long if I just sit and do it. (I have to go upstairs to do it because my iPad doesn't tell me if the comment has a no-reply address. 😕 Sometimes I feel like I am talking to myself, and maybe I am. I'm glad I resisted the urge to delete my blog a couple of years ago - I would have lost all the pictures of my last house and all the work we did there. There is a long stretch with no posts but at least it is still there.

    I don't visit the 'for profit' blogs much. I like the small, more personal blogs. 😀

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  40. Rue, your sweet thoughtful attitude and good manners are noticed and much appreciated. It's always in style to be kind.

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  41. Hi Rue, When you visited my blog you mentioned you are in zone 7. I'm in zone 6 but find zone 6 plants don't do well. I've lost every one I've ever planted....I've learned to only buy them if they are hardy to zone 5 or under. Do you have the same problem?

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  42. HI Rue,
    Ahhh yes....the days of blogging when it was exciting
    and new..
    and we made sweet friends..
    shared our hearts, our homes.
    I sure miss those days...and that is why
    I've lost interest in blogging now. Everything
    has a season. So happy you are back and sharing
    your heart with us.

    Big hugs,

    Becky

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  43. HI Rue,
    Ahhh yes....the days of blogging when it was exciting
    and new..
    and we made sweet friends..
    shared our hearts, our homes.
    I sure miss those days...and that is why
    I've lost interest in blogging now. Everything
    has a season. So happy you are back and sharing
    your heart with us.

    Big hugs,

    Becky

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  44. I remember and I understand. Still trying to comment as much as possible over here. I will confess that when they come up No Reply Blogger, I no longer track them down. It just takes too much time. Don't feel that you have to respond every single time...when someone replies to me days later I often don't even remember what they are talking about. :)

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  45. I wholeheartedly agree Rue! The bloggers who don't comment back I just stop commenting. I mean what's the point. It's still nice when you connect with someone who shares a common interest and you have a reciprocal relationship. That's what everyone wants with all relationships. Online or off.

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    1. I am a relatively new blogger, about three years. I started my blog as a diary and something for my children and grandchildren to read if they wanted. I never thought once about someone else reading my blog and when I got a comment, I did answer it. Now, I barely have time to write my blog. To answer all comments and visit each blog would be very time taxing and would make blogging unbearable to me. I don't expect people to comment and I really hope they are not insulted when I don't answer. I read a lot of blogs and don't comment for that very reason. You do not have to answer my comment. I will not be insulted.

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  46. I was just thinking about this the other day. I started my blog in 2007 and it seemed like we all knew each other. We all commented and knew what was going on in each other's lives. Now there is just so much. So much social. So many places to be: twitter, snapchat, Instagram, periscope - the list keeps growing.

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  47. You are SO right, and I am so behind and bad - I try so hard to visit everyone who visits me - sometimes it is just plain impossible....but I need to be better, I do. I am so sorry if I have neglected YOU in the meantime. I hope you know I am doing my best with the time I have. Hugs. ♥

    As for ME needing comments back, I don't - so never feel obligated. I am a relatively new blogger and understand time is short, so never worry about how I feel commenting or not, and never EVER feel you need to thank me for visiting. I am not sensitive at all about that, would rather you go read just a few more new posts somewhere in the time you save answering me back, is all. : - )

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  48. Oh...you always hit it on the head, Rue. Look at all these comments! I wish I could read them all.

    First, before I forget...isn't it something to read a new blogger or a BIG blogger who has 10,000 followers but 5 comments on a post??? Ha! Please tell me how that occurs?

    Another thing...if you are on Blogger (and I'm not sure about Wordpress or anything else), we have a feed. If you follow us it will come up on your feed if you 'Follow" that kills me as there are so many (and very lovely bloggers) who come by to comment only if I've been by their blog. What? Nice but really? If I were busy and didn't stop by they would totally miss my post. If you like my blog, follow by Google Friends Connect or e-mail. A feed keep you up to date. Simply responding to a comment is like a simple 'thank you note', not a true liking of your blog. And...if you are a little slow on posting...man, you have to make it up by visiting people when you are going mad with time constraints anyway.

    I do follow BIG bloggers just as I love to follow Pinterest. They are there to for inspiration as far as I'm concerned. I no longer care if they respond as I no longer comment. Simple. They have a whole different business in blogging that we shouldn't even bother with other than getting some ides from. We need to stop the anger and envy---they are not in it as we are---and we are wonderful ladies who forge friendships have laughs, share decorating tips, recipes, philosophies on life, experiences and plain old crap! Yay!

    Love ya. Great post as always!

    Jane

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  49. You are right. Blogging is reciprocal and it is important it be that way if it is blogging with friendship in mind.
    Sometimes we fall down on that and no, it isn't really okay but I keep in mind that most people try their best.
    I rarely answer comments on my blog itself because I was never sure anyone saw the answer that way. I usually answer by visiting back. But I wonder now if that is not the right thing to do.
    So many good quotes from You've Got Mail. Kathleen often hit the nail on the head just like you.
    Pretty darn happy you're blogging again.

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  50. Love this post Rue! Blogs are very different now

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  51. Hi Rue, I love this post and like you, I remember the old days back in 2006 when I first started to read blogs and open my own. Back then, there was no replying to a comment, it was actually returning the blog visit by visiting them in return. I still do that to every comment I get. Oh one may slip through now and then, but like you, I return all visits by visiting that blogger and being interested in their blog too. It's called blog etiquette!! and it matters. It is really what grows a blog. Being kind goes a long way and visiting back is this best way to form a friendship through blogging. To those that never visit back, they are missing out. But I understand there are those that run their blog that way and feel to big to respond to us little guys. It's just not for me!
    I'll always be the person who sends a thank you card too.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts my friend. Have a great evening. xo

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  52. I feel guilty when I can't return comments right away because I enjoy the friendship I've found here in the blogging community. Everyone is so lovely and kind and I never want them to think that I'm not visiting on purpose...so I've been lagging with my posts so that I can visit and reply to comments. Everyone I've met is special and I want them to know and to feel that they are special...not just a number on a chart! Love and hugs to you sweet friend!

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  53. Well ssid, Rue! I feel the same way. I feel a need of responding and visiting back the people who visits and comments. It's just polite, I think....Christine

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  54. I feel pretty much the same as you. I'd like to blog more often, but between my long hours at work and life in general, I'd never have time to reply to comments and visit those who leave a comment for me. It's a real treat these days to visit blogs that aren't plastered with pop-ups and advertising and yours is one of them. Thanks for keeping it simple and old-fashioned, Rue.

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  55. You are so smart Rue!
    I feel like I found a kindred spirit in you.

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  56. The more I read your posts, the more I like you.

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  57. Rue I love your blog. I am fairly new with this and I do not have a blog of my own. Some of them I love and read have so many ads that pop up it gets annoying and I end up not staying too long. I understand it is a source of income it is just too bad it can't be done differently. Yours is always a pleasure to read. Thank you for keeping it real. Sorry this really didn't have anything to do with your subject it is just something I wanted to tell you.

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    1. You're so sweet, Fran. Thank you! It means a great deal that you wrote to me :)

      I hope you see this. I'm sorry I'm so late with my response.

      xo

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  58. Rue I love, love, LOVE this post! I feel exactly the same way. Because of my commitment to school and family it generally takes me about a week to respond to comments but I feel it is SO important to do so. I also loved the post above. One of the things that I adore about you is that you stay true to yourself. I admire that and seek to do that myself. Even if it is not popular. Have a great day my friend!

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  59. Beautifully written I think that's so true but I also think that some of the old-timers are snobby and don't let the new ones in (don't shoot me for saying that.) I always try to get back to people.

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  60. Such a wonderful post. I know I am guilty of getting too busy to remember those who leave comments sometimes. After reading this, you have made me think that it might be time to stop worrying so much about Social Media Postings and remember the basics.

    I shared this on my facebook as a reminder, to myself. Thank you for writing this.

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  61. I love this and wholeheartedly agree! I find it sad that there is such a focus on stats now; and also that "everyone" is a decorator and a graphic designer these days. I wish I had started blogging "back in the day" when it was like a family, although I will say that I've developed some very dear friendships in cyberspace, anyway.

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  62. Your post is superb. Thanks for sharing us updated information.

    Macy
    www.gofastek.com

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  63. Rue, I so appreciate this post and I agree fully! I like that you're upfront and honest! I haven't been very good about blogging or visiting lately but I'm trying to get back in the groove. :) You know, kindness and respect are important for everyone, whether you like them or not. It drives me crazy when the "big" bloggers never respond...I'm just stopping my visits and/or commenting.

    Thanks again for sharing!
    xo
    Pat
    P.S. And yes, I'm a stickler for sending thank you notes too! :)

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Thank you so much for leaving a comment. It means so much to me that you took the time and I read each and every one. If you don't have a blog, look for a response under your comment. I try to get to them within a few days :)

For some reason, the comment box doesn't always show up, so if you want to leave a comment, replying to someone else's comment seems to work. If not, you can always reach me via email, located on my side bar. Thank you!