If you are looking at blogs, magazines, Pinterest, and/or one of those others social media sites (that I pay no attention to) and it makes you feel bad about your home or somehow inadequate, you need to print this out and put it somewhere where you see it...
every.
single.
day.
While I visited quite a few blogs over the holidays, I noticed the same theme that I've been seeing over and over since I've been back and really, right before I left...
"Well, I know my home isn't like so and so's blog, but I like it."
I'm guilty of it too, in a way.
For example, on my Christmas post I wrote:
"Nothing exciting, since it's what I do every year in some way or another."
Yes. Yes, I did
Why would I write that?
Because I figured that most people that read these little pieces of our life in Blogland or my fellow bloggers expect...
Something grand.
Something new.
Something exciting.
Well, grand, new, and exciting, I'm not.
I know this about myself and I'm very happy this way.
Extremely happy with my little home, in fact :)
But, just like a lot of you I looked at all those shiny new blogs that didn't exist before (or maybe did, but I wouldn't recognize them from the old days to save my life) and I thought "Why in the world would anyone want to see the same old thing that I do all the time?"
I posted for Christmas anyway, walked away from the computer, and went on with my holiday.
Happily, when I checked in afterwards, I was thrilled to see your wonderful comments about the fact that I have so many things that mean something to me.
Thank you so much for that :)
What I'm trying to say is that for Christmas or any other holiday, and in fact every single day, your home should be about what you love and you shouldn't have to apologize for it.
Ever.
And neither should I.
And just like I suggested to all of you, I'm going to print out that little graphic and put it on my wall and look at it
every.
single.
day.
I hope you do too :)
I'll be back soon with a holiday wrap-up, but for now I'll be answering comments back to all of you sweet friends that don't have blogs, and those sweet friends that do have blogs.
I'm so far behind!
Forgive me please.
Oh and I just have to say...
Hi to all my old RMS (HGTV's rate my space) friends that found me again!!
I missed you too and I'll be answering your emails ASAP :)
Love to all...
xo
rue
You are so right, my dear friend!! I love this and I, too, will put it somewhere I can see it every day!!
ReplyDeleteI only comment once in a blue moon, but your blog is so great that I visit often. I remember when your blog "went away" for a bit.....and I still miss Kim! Yes, Comparison is the thief of lots of peace. If it's any consolation, it has gotten so much better as I've gotten older. And if you walked thru my home you'd say that I decorate with Family Pictures. My only complaint is that I don't have more wall space! : ) lol........ Every time someone brings up RMS I smile. That was a great time. Alright, keep on keeping it real, Rue. : )`
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you took the time to comment, Bonnie and thank you :)
DeleteI'm a family picture girl too! A home wouldn't be one without them.
xo
Well stated, Rue - and I am in complete agreement with you on this subject.
ReplyDeleteMY big "apology" is not sharing more posts - it's a constant struggle for me to find the time, because, well, I am busy living and not blogging responsibly! My thing is I don't advertise, therefore I never ever have to come up with the latest greatest most incredible posts. I post things I like and find interesting, and hope others do too.
I find YOU very interesting - in fact, in honesty, I find myself talking about you a lot to my eldest daughter, and I think of you often. Again, glad you're back. : - )
Happy New Year! Whoo hooo - oh the possibilities are limitless, aren't they??????????????
Well said Rue. I have a small home and I know that it will never look like the large gorgeous homes you see on other blogs. I am ok with that and I always try to keep it real (at least I hope I do). Thanks for the reminder. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteWhy oh why does blogging have to make us feel inadequate? I think it happens to all of us from time to time. Sometimes I have a good talkin' to with myself. Thank you for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Rue. It can get very intimidating looking at the 'perfect' homes on blogs. I'm just me, our little apartment is us, lived in and all! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. You still have more snow than we do, which is very scary :)
ReplyDeleteI think you probably got your snow now! I hope you're safe and warm :)
Deletexo
Good morning Rue, Rate My Space was on HGTV, loved the show. But how were you and the other ladies involved in the show? I hardly watch HGTV anymore, only a few shows. I miss the old ones, like Room by Room and Decorating Sense.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing some of my favorite blogs grow, for me it isn't so much the decor. It's all about the writing, what they have to say about life in general and women helping each other.
Stay warm up there, Kathleen in Az
We weren't on the show, but there used to be a rate my space web page that you could log pictures on. I think it's closed down now, sadly. It was a great deal of fun and I met some of the best ladies ever there :)
DeleteI hope you're warm too, my friend.
xo
I'm going to print this out too!
ReplyDeleteAll of the stage set homes can be so intimidating and make one feel inadequate.
I wing it, and always have, not a follower.
Have a wonderful 2016 in your dear, lovely little home ~ FlowerLady
Thank you Rue, our homes and lives are what they are. Each one is different and interesting in it's own way. I too have seen the blogs with the "perfectly staged" homes and they are quite nice. I prefer though to see real folks living real life and feeling blessed for all that has been given to them. You are so sweet to give us this reminder as we start the new year!
ReplyDeletePeace & Blessings to you
Karen
I sometimes wonder that too! We're pretty constant at Linderhof. Magazines are not constant because they are in the business of SELLING things (as is Martha Stewart) so every Christmas there is something NEW! I am amazed at the amount of money spent by bloggers not only at Christmas but in things like table settings and "vignettes" during the year. Life at Linderhof is pretty much like life at your darling home. And I like it that way. Which is why you're one of my favorite blogs.
ReplyDelete*comparison is the thief of joy*
ReplyDeleteand i'm guilty of this myself.
i have a smaller home (1400sf)
and we're quite content with the
size. thank you for bringing this
up because sometimes i DO compare
and miss out on inviting others
over for fear of **what they'll think**.
sigh. THIS needs to change.
So true Rue. I love my home (for the most part) and how I transform it so that it's lived in. I like to get ideas from the other blogs while still staying true to myself. Thanks for the reminder. Milena
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. I took a long blog break and decided to post when I feel like it,and post what I want, not what I think everyone else wants. You have to be true to yourself. I know I've had the self doubt-not measuring up to some one else's blog or home.If everyone did what they loved, blogland would be alot more interesting and varied. Wow, I'll get off the soapbox now. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI think we all appreciate people who are real. Sometimes Pinterest and the like will spark an idea or create an inspiration, but that's all it should be for, not another way of making us feel inadequate. We shouldn't be going into debt or exhausting ourselves. I think it takes some stepping away from the online "noise" occasionally to do some quiet listening to our own selves. Keep doing what you're doing Rue!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I started blogging, I thought I had to 'decorate' for each holiday no matter how insignificant it was. I gathered things through thirfting but still they all added up to large bins of 'things' I only used once a year for a vignette. WHAT?? So now I don't and have decided to donate most of it back. If I love it and will enjoy it or it has memories I'll keep it. So much stuff just so I can keep up with the other bloggers? Not any more. I feel free to just be me.
ReplyDeleteLinda
One thing is for sure, my home will never be anything spectacular and quite honestly, I hate looking at blogs with perfect houses, perfect decorating, perfect little this and thats. Makes me wonder if anyone really lives there and if so, do they stay in only one room, so the others we see in pictures, stay perfect??? I want to see the real deal! If I wanted to see perfection, I would buy a magazine! I love visiting bloggers who simply live in their homes. I like everyday details. I will never believe these perfect homes are, in anyway, happy places where folks can sit and talk, have a cup of tea, and enjoy life. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, Rue, because you keep it real!
Grace & Peace.
I have so many cherished items in my home and things I love taking out Christmas, after Christmas, after Christmas. New is not always what it's cracked up to be. Real life is filled with sentiment, old treasures and sameness. Home should be predictable and stable...and livable. Love the quote. You're always so on point!
ReplyDeleteOh...and Happy New Year!! :)
ReplyDeleteRue, I've never been one to compare myself with others, and hopefully I never will. Our homes are our special spaces that represent us, and I have a little of this and a little of that that means so much to me. I wouldn't trade my little space for all the magazine features in the world.
ReplyDeleteKeep showing us your humble home, Rue. It suits you. :)
~Sheri
I agree. Your home should be your home and not a copy of a magazine.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Rue, and thanks for your visit. John retired so we moved back to FL and downsized quite a bit. I enjoy our home here particularly because we live right next door to my youngest daughter and her family and within driving distance to the other kids. I got rid of a lot of stuff but still have so much which I should get rid of. You keep enjoying this new year!...Christine
ReplyDeletei have no problem with that ...
Deleteas a matter of fact i posted at christmas that i was in love with the little wren house and it had never looked more beautiful or cozy to me!
'home is where the heart is' has always been a favorite line of mine.
and to know where your heart is ... well. that's the best beginning always.
i don't follow many décor type blogs... but i like the ones i do follow!
and i don't think of yours as that type of blog... it's just rue's life.
and a lovely life it is! XOXOXO♥
how odd! it looks like i'm replying to christine's reply. LOLOL.
Deletecouldn't find the comment button i guess! ♥
Rue ... home is where the heart is and your home should be about what you love.
ReplyDeleteHope the New Year has started well - take care
All the best Jan
A quote I love, and one I had on my wall for years, is 'almost all of our unhappiness is a result of comparing ourselves to others'. So many of us do that, and not just with decorating. We do it with relationships, looks, intelligence, etc. I am happy to say I don't do it anymore. When you live long enough you realize not everything is as it appears. The blogger with the perfect home may have a husband who is a crab, or worse, farts at the diner table.
ReplyDeleteYes my friend. There are worse things on life than not having perfectly poofed pillows :).
A quote I love, and one I had on my wall for years, is 'almost all of our unhappiness is a result of comparing ourselves to others'. So many of us do that, and not just with decorating. We do it with relationships, looks, intelligence, etc. I am happy to say I don't do it anymore. When you live long enough you realize not everything is as it appears. The blogger with the perfect home may have a husband who is a crab, or worse, farts at the diner table.
ReplyDeleteYes my friend. There are worse things on life than not having perfectly poofed pillows :).
Comparison is the thief of joy, isn't it? I love my little home and am proud of how I've decorated on a budget. I look around and see all the things that make me smile and that I love. My house is my safe place and refuge and I hope it feels that way for my husband and son, too. I also want it to be warm and welcoming to any friends or family that come over. That's what counts in the long run, right?
ReplyDeleteOh Rue, I'm new to blogland...and it is a bit of a quagmire and also a bit like Disneyland or sometimes, Dollywood, LOL. But I have found that honesty and those posts that strike a memory---or give information are what 'bloggers and readers' are hungry for. In this day an age of 'artificial-reality' tv---I think we still seek the 'real' thing: creativity, ingenuity and honesty. Grins, Sandi
ReplyDeleteHi Rue, I loved your blog about being who you are and loving it. I don't remember how I found your blog but I was intrigued with you wearing the 40s and 50s clothes. I have often thought about starting a blog but was intimidated by all the perfect looking homes. Thanks for reminding me that it's our home and we love it just the way it is. I just might start that blog in 2016. Phyllis
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope you do, Phyllis. It's a lot of fun and you meet so many sweet people. Don't let the perfectness stop you from sharing what you love :)
Deletexo
Well now! I have read all the comments and I understand where everyone is coming from! Buuuut! I think a lot of the perfect blogs are also just trying to make their house a home too!
ReplyDeleteHi Cindy :)
DeleteI wasn't trying to pick on the blogs that are trying to have their home perfect (I read those too! And enjoy quite a few of them.), I was just reminding people that it's okay if it isn't. I think my dear readers were just expressing that they were happy I reminded them of the fact that it's okay to be happy with their own homes.
xo
Great post, Rue! As much as I moon over some homes I have seen on blogs, I truly like my little home just the way it is. My downfall is dishes/linens...my kids will want to kill me, after I am already gone, when they have to dispose of all that "stuff"!
ReplyDeleteHave a great week, Rue.
I'm with you! I have seen so many homes that could be triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets....etc. All the homes are identical. Where is the originality? Where is the mystery? Where is the creativity? Where are the photos of the rooms that look like mine..plain and boring and empty because there's no furniture...just stuff sitting around in the floor? ;-) Maybe I need to show more of those photos to encourage others to show their empty rooms also? LOL I agree and I love your home....and you! Love and hugs to you sweet friend!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Rue! I love my little home and while it may not be magazine worthy...it's home, cozy and comfortable. That is what counts in my book. Take care and enjoy your week!
ReplyDeleteSomething else I have to tell myself every single day - Never compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Most blogs show the good and leave out the bad and the ugly.
ReplyDeleteHi Rue
ReplyDeleteI'm back online.....Happy New Year!
I was never one for competition, either in life or on my blog. Life is too short for all of that! My focus now is on enjoying my grandkids and on enjoying the beauty of Colorado!I'm glad I can now "see" it all again with healthy eyes -- hopefully! It's fun to look at decorator homes and see all kinds of styles and ideas on blogs, but I'm happy with what I have. ;)
Rue, great post and the Albert Hadley quote says it perfectly. I've certainly fallen into the comparison trap, especially recently. I just keep telling myself that all those gorgeous images are a source of inspiration for me to make my home the best that it can be for me and my family. As my mom always says, your home is the one place where you can do whatever you want (well almost). Have great week!
ReplyDeleteRue I think the quote is one to live by. i appreciate this post, because like you what is in our house all has memories attached and are meaningful and cherished. I respect people who live in their houses and love lives there. Set design is fine for movies - show me real life and that is why I adore your blog so much.
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Vera
You know if I logged onto your blog and saw a tree with all new trendy ornaments I would be really concerned with your mental health or wonder if your blog had been kidnapped! I like seeing the nice new trendy things on Blogs too but appreciate much more your collection that has meaning to you. Your blog always inspires me as it shows that it is okay to be you and be different. As a kid I always dreamed of getting a horse for Christmas and starting collecting horse themed decorations so over the yrs have an entirely horse themed Christmas tree and décor that I would not change for the world! I would collect these often on holidays, horse shows, dif Cities I lived in, rcvd some as gifts, used to tell people don’t bring me back a t-shirt from your trip bring me a horse ornament I will keep forever (!) and even cajoled a few from family if I spotted one on their tree! Quirky indeed but there are a lot of memories and love in many of them that mean so much to me and you just can’t buy that in a store I love it so much I shamelessly keep it up usually thru Jan for full effect of that warm fuzzy feeling! ;) I love that you stay true to you Rue!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA!! That might be a good April fools trick ;)
DeleteI love that you have a horse themed tree. I'll bet it's just wonderful.
xo
Happy New Year, Rue. Don't most of us have the same ornaments and treasures to bring out each year? I prefer tradition and things that have a meaning and heritage to them. I am not really into blogs that focus solely on decor, though. After seeing about 10 blogs decorated for Christmas that's enough for me, as if I'd flipped through a magazine at the store or something :)
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, I want old treasures to bring out since it takes my mind back to good memories. I'm dont follow any homes/blogs that everything looks perfect and everyday have something new. I love old, vintage and charming homes with charming owners. I'm looking for connections and not for another sterile magazine.
ReplyDeleteHappy 2016 to you, Rue! I hope that this year, and always, will be wonderful for you.
ReplyDeleteHappy 2016 to you, Rue! I hope that this year, and always, will be wonderful for you.
ReplyDeleteYEP, YEP, and YEP! And Happy New Year, by the way. (:
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you and I love thsi quote. I am not blogging to impress anyone and everything I do is done to make me happy....not my readers. Now, do I love to get sweet comments about things I have shared? Absolutely....we all do. But I will never be the one who decorates my home according to the current trend and redo it again in 3 months with the ever newer trendy items just to get a ton of comments from readers I don't even know! Same goes for Christmas. I refuse to redecorate in a new "theme" every year. How wasteful is that! I decorated with all the things I love and bring a smile to my face or a memory to my mind. I love your honesty and your style. I hope 2016 is treating you well so far!
ReplyDeleteGood thought!
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered... who are "those" people that make the rules up anyway??!!
We all live our own lives, we aren't supposed to live anyone else's life, so why do we worry so much about what others think anyway?? ** Smile**.
Here's to a great, brand new spanking year... hope it will be filled with much happiness, blessings, and may our hearts be filled with kindness and service for others.
Most of all, may we have an attitude of gratitude and cultivate a heart of contentment.
Smiles :)
~K.
:) Happy New Year!
ReplyDelete~Liz
Well I love Mr. Hadley anyway--he was a local boy--and this quote rings true and sincere from everything I've ever read about him, and isn't that nice?
ReplyDeleteMay I also say, Rue, that it rings true about you. Does not surprise me one bit. Yes, we all forget it from time to time when we get caught up in the whirl of blogging, and you are so right, we must stop apologizing that we don't have an exciting new room redo to show everyone. We should remember that our blog friends just want to see where we live life and what we love around us and those we love.
At least I hope so because I'm halfway through choosing family pics of this past holiday season, knowing I must post them soon or not at all, and in the background of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, each with a houseful of family, there are water bottles sitting around, dog nests, sofa cushions askew, towels thrown down by the door for all the muddy paws and feet--in short, life as it was.
Because that's what it's all about , isn't it?
A happy 2016 to you and your old-fashioned world, dear Rue,
Dewena
I hear you! One thing I know I'm guilty of is going crazy when people come over. I clean and tidy until the house loses all signs of living and looks its absolute best. This of course takes entertaining to an exhausting and silly level because, really, who cares besides me. Another bad habit that should be kicked :-(
ReplyDeleteAmalia
xo
I visit here just as I would if I were your neighbor and I come because you are a person worth knowing.It is that simple.
ReplyDeleteSeeing into your home is like being there visiting and hearing you chat about your day, etc.
We all have that awful feeling that what we have/do isn't enough.
As Amalia said, its a bad habit to be kicked. And I will add, kicked really far!
...I too cannot find the comment button...so thank you annie for letting me tag onto you...what a wonderful post...such wisdom...and...just for the record...decorating is what we do to christmas trees...not our homes...(and we no longer do that...we just enjoy the beauty of a real tree suddenly living inside!)...and easter eggs...(we do still do that with grandchildren)...homes are created spaces...that spring first from the hearts of people who live within them....collected spaces filled with objects of lives lived and shared...and like the stories the homes tell...they should match no one else's on earth... just yours...blessings laney
DeleteI don't know why the comment button is doing that. I'm glad you found a place to leave one though, Laney :) Thank you!
Deletexo
I don't know where all those blogs are coming from either. I'm glad that you found some of your old friends from Rate My Space. I've seen many references to that site but it was before my time. The best blogs have a touch of something personal otherwise it is just a magazine photo. I'm glad your back and that you enjoyed your holiday.
ReplyDeleteI've done it too..compared myself to another [big ] blogger saying "well, it's not Ree Drummond-the Pioneer Woman etc' why do we do that. Truly, when I found you and when I return to your site I always spend much more time than I do at the PW..I am IMPRESSED with the PW but I am INTRIQUED and drawn back to 'an old fashioned world'...honest! >long distance hugs<
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this! It's easy to fall into the comparison game, especially when you see some blogs with so much traffic and new picture perfect homes. But honestly, since I returned to blogging, I've found myself shying away from the bigger blogs, particularly those that take forever to view a post for clicking off their advertising pop-ups, ...and in turn gravitating to those that just seem unique and down to earth. I like to think of my home's imperfections as character! I'm okay with that! :) ...hope all is well with you! ~Rhonda
ReplyDeleteI agree with you so much! Last year I started wondering what I'd blog about because I finally love my home just as it is, and I don't really want to buy more things for it. I guess I just don't sweat it anymore, and I'm enjoying blogging as much as ever just moving things around once in awhile. I see something interesting and pretty whenever I visit your blog, even if I've seen it before! :) I hope you're enjoying winter in your neck of the woods.
ReplyDeleteOnce I fully realized that I was not capable of creating a decorating blog, life became easier. I love creating a home, but it suits us and probably only us. I don't know when I was last here, but I sure have had a fun time looking around and I very much enjoyed the Christmas tour. Your treasures are charming and beautifully shared.
ReplyDeleteYou always nail it, Rue, and the graphic is going to be printed and looked at quite a bit. As a long time blogger I simply look at many blogs as eye candy and glean ideas for here and there. Like magazines...but without the educated writers and professional photographers. Homes are homes---there will always be people who have more and less than we have. The blogging world can have a negative or positive effect on us. I choose what your graphic has to say, thank you!
ReplyDeleteJane x
One of the things I am noticing on Instagram is everyone talking about all the things they are buying at the big name, inexpensive stores. I don't want to insult the stores, because I do shop there. But, everyone seems to be buying the same things.
ReplyDeleteI am doing little shopping and instead am just moving the things I love around my house. When I write a post tomorrow, someone might say, "wasn't that just in your living room?" or "all you did was move that from one corner to another!". That's about all I do, move the things I love around the house to see them in different ways.
I have been ill so I haven't been reading blogs or doing much.
I'm glad I got a chance to catch up with you today.
Glad you are back and I agree-I like to go junkin and find treasures and then I use them around my house. I do a lot of rearranging but hardly any buying of new things. My house is what it is and I am happy with it!
ReplyDeleteHi Rue. I had a lengthy response to this in which I not only agreed but shared some of my own thoughts about comparisons in homes and blogging, but I hit the wrong button and lost it all. (sigh) I so believe in Hadley's philosophy and try to live it daily. Hugs, Nancy
ReplyDeleteHi Rue, What a great post my friend. I, like you, just do my thing in my decorating. I don't follow trends even though I do like a lot of the current displays. I will try and do it my way with my treasures mostly passed down to me from my grandmother and mother. I love to have my vintage pieces all around me mixed with my own style and look. It just works for me. I think when it comes right down to it, we post for our self sharing what we might be up to in our homes or other areas of life. It will appeal to some and not to others. So be it. I certainly don't want my style or look to be what someone else has in their home ~ or have the same exact store items. Sometime that does happen anyway or even something old, but not on purpose. haha
ReplyDeleteI have been changing my home around by moving furniture, resewing from past curtains, making pillows, painting and so on. Not spending any money to do this is so much fun. Very rewarding to get a new look for no money.
So glad to catch up with you and I hope your new year is off to a great start. Thanks for stopping by and your sweet comment. Sending hugs. xo
I'm late, but I could NOT agree with you more. My home is just that!!! It makes me happy, drives my sweet hubby insane, when he is not showing something off that we made :^) and keeps us safe, warm and cozy!! I like red, so I use it....a lot of it....so Pantene can just choose red as a neutral as far as I am concerned!! :^)
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you,
J
Good for you, J! I love hearing that people are happy with their homes. I love red too ;)
Deletexo