Tuesday, May 9, 2017

I know better


Yep.

I do.

I've been blogging for a very long time and definitely long enough to know that what you see on a blog isn't always real.

Not reality. (also an old picture)

But for some unexplainable reason, when I went to take some pictures of my home the other day, they didn't seem good enough.

I felt inadequate.

Again.

Then, a few days later, I came across a group of bloggers that did a behind the scenes of what their home actually looks like, when they take those gorgeous photos.

And once again, I realized how stupid gullible I was.

Turns out, not everyone is as crazy as I am and feels the need to clean their entire house, before they take a picture.

They just shove stuff to the side.

And their ethereal pictures, where it looks like a glowing light is coming through the window and shining upon whatever it is they're showcasing?

Photo editors.

Here's a good example of what I'm talking about.

Can you believe it?

Yeah....

I know damn well that blogging is a game of smoke and mirrors, but for a brief moment...

I forgot.

Back in the old days, I used to rally against those perfect blogs, because it made me and everyone else feel like they weren't good enough and I knew they purposely weren't telling the truth.

Oh wait... I still do that ;)

Anyway, it's nice to know that more bloggers are showing what truly goes on behind the scenes, instead of pretending that they live in pristine homes with perfect lives and that they have unreal photography skills.

I give them credit.

And I think they're really brave.

You know me though...

I'm still going to do things like make fun of tease the bloggers that have "accidentally" gathered flowers in their sink and act like they didn't do it on purpose.

You know as well as I do that they went to the grocery store, bought a bouquet wrapped in plastic, took the plastic off, shoved aside the dirty dishes, artfully arranged said flowers in their "farmhouse" sink and photo edited the crap out of it ;)

Close-up of plastic wrapped bouquets.

What?

You know it's true.

Pffft...

My house looks like a bomb went off, when I bring home groceries and I'll bet yours does too.

Reality.
Just like you put your pants on one leg at a time.

So do they.

Remember that, next time you fall into the trap.

I know better 

and 

so do you.

Yes, I know we like to look at all the pretty pictures of beautiful homes and dream of a world without dog hair and dust.

But...

sometimes it's nice to see a dose of reality.

Of course, I'm not talking about myself.

 My home is always perfect.










;)

xo
rue



64 comments:

  1. Mine is always perfect too Rue! Ha! My husband had a fit when I showed him the photos of our shared paint room/his office space right before I started a make over. He said I couldn't post them because people would think were were hoarders! I'm posting it anyway so people can get a reality check.

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  2. Hee hee! Love it. I tell folks if you want to see me you're welcome anytime. If you want to inspect my house, call and make an appointment. Kinda the same way with my blog - which could be good or bad I suppose :)

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  3. I love this, Rue! I'd so much rather see a home that looks cozy and real and lived in - my home has plenty of dust and dog hair, but I admit I am pretty anal about keeping things tidy. When I get home from the market, all bets are off! And when I'm on a cooking marathon? Same thing. And you'll usually see veggies in my sink, not flowers....especially during harvest season! Hopping over to check out the links you posted, you're a funny lady, Rue! xo

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  4. Hi, your kitchen reminds me of my sister. I can see her in your kitchen cooking and baking away, very cozy and welcoming:).
    I live in a small house and there were times I wished for a larger home, now that it's just the four of us ( counting the 2 little pupsters ) I'm so glad it's small, I'm the cleaning lady;).
    Enjoying the cool day here with doors open and here's to you Rue, have a good day up in the mountains,
    Kathleen in Az

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    1. I'm sure I'd love your sister :)

      Yes, a small home is MUCH easier to manage.

      I hope you're enjoying the cooler weather down there as well, my friend :)

      xo

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  5. Clutter or things around isn't unclean its just life going on and that's a good thing. Houses that look unlived in aren't interesting. I really like seeing how people really live and do things. Brings us all closer I think.
    Lovely photos

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  6. LOVE you Rue!!!!!!!

    And I told the guy, on the blog, where you sent us.... Told him I love him, too!!!! What a super exposeeeeeeeee he did. :-))))

    And what a marvelous true-life-grouping of photos, you did toooooo!

    *Ya'ken..... I don't look at those everything-is-perfect blogs any more. Guess I moved beyond them. Or in my case, moved "back from" them. I love gentle old fashioned now. More than the European-all-shades-of-gray-decor, which I used to pine over. -smile-

    *Ya'ken...Old Scottish way of saying; "You know" ,-)

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  7. Oh. My. Word.
    For certain, I thought your home and life were perfect :)
    Just as perfect as any of our homes, and lives are.

    Cute post, and a great reminder to us all, to stay grounded, and well rounded, and drop the pretense.
    Life is to be lived, and enjoyed, not to leave a legacy of perfect pictures and seemingly perfect lives.
    We all have our wonky pictures on the wall, and a dish or two in the sink.
    It's because we're real people, with real lives, and hopefully real character.

    Have a wonderful day!!
    ~K.

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  8. Good post Rue - did you read Marie at interiorfrugalista dot com - a group of her blogging friends each did a reality behind the great photo post and I had to do one too and now you have. I love the reality check.

    Your place looks great no matter when you take the photos.

    Joy

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  9. Thanks for this humorous, honest post! It did my heart good. My little cottage right now is a total wreck.

    People ask to see my gardens from a distance. Ha, they are NOT fantastic, I selectively take photos of flowers so you don't see the 'not so hot' scenes. :-) Life is what it is, and mine is not picture perfect that is for sure.

    I always enjoy seeing glimpses into your sweet home.

    Have a great week ~ FlowerLady

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  10. LOL- Rue- You are my younger sister (if I had one)...or my daughter-take your pick. I am the same way....clean the whole flipping house to take a picture of one corner of one room. When my kids were little I used to stay up all night cleaning house just so I could get up to a clean house "in the morning"...which meant I got all of two hours sleep before dealing with 4 little kids-the last 3 ages 4 and under. lol WHY do we think we have to be WonderWoman? lol

    Have a wonderful REAL kind of day/week. xo Diana

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  11. Hi Ru, Love this post my friend. So true, so real and so me too. I am a cleanaholic of my house but I have learned to let it go a bit between big cleanings over the years. When it comes to taking pics, I just wing it most of the time. I've shared room makeovers, kitchen cabinet paintings, closet makeovers and more being a total mess. It's real life!! When we grocery shop, it looks like a Texas tornado blew through. haha. Hey, like I always told my painting students, it looks bad before it looks good!! Thanks for sharing the real part of blogging!!
    Have a great rest of the week. xo

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  12. Ha! Those women kill me - it's like they think we won't "like" them as humans, nor read their blog, if they aren't living the perfect life in the perfect house. It's sad, really. But your home is pretty even with that lived in look - which is the best look of all, of course...And complaining about perfectly reasonable photos - I don't get that either. It isn't a magazine shoot, right?

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  13. Love your post Rue. I am like that with taking pictures in the best light!!!!! Outside the picture there might be a cover over a white couch when Cooper would lay on it or water spots slopped all over the floor after he would take a drink of water etc. So we have to live in our homes. I am a neat freak but my house gets messy especially now when I am sorting and packing for the move. Looks like hoarders live here with stuff piled everywhere! It is fun to be proud of your paint project or furniture placement etc. but we also have to be real and know that behind the scene we live in our homes. Glad you recognize that even if someone's blog post looks magazine worthy they still live there and hide that from the pictures. Happy Week and have a wonderful Mom's weekend.
    Kris

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  14. Love this post Rue. I was reading the other day that on most of the decorating shows on HGTV, they don't usually show the bedrooms because they are full of all of the stuff they used and/or didn't use in the filming. So, I'm pretty sure most of our homes are like that. Thanks for the lived in look.

    Judy

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  15. Love this post! Thank you for being real! I only read blogs, so it is nice to know the way you bloggers do things. I wondered how so many people have so much sun coming through the windows! There are so many perfect homes out there. I finally discovered one lady had a cleaning lady! I thought she was super woman and I felt like a lazy looser! If I had help I could be perfect too! Okay.. a lot of help!

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    1. I think we all need help, in more ways than one LOL!

      Thank you! :)

      xo

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  16. Thank you! I'm not a blogger, but I have felt the guilt that my home does not look like those beautiful blog photos. I guess that it's like those photos of bikini-clad celebrities with tanned, perfect bodies. Then you see a candid photo without filters and photoshop and there they are with normal bodies that have stretch marks & cellulite. Makes me breathe a sigh of relief.

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  17. Ha! I love it. I saw that group of bloggers who did the behind the scenes series and I shared it on Facebook. I thought it was awesome. I have also shared pics like that, because real life is messy and people should see that as well. Of course, I am slightly (ok, more than slightly) OCD about keeping my house pin straight, but that's who I am and who I have always been, way before blogging, and as a homemaker that's what I do....but...regardless of how much cleaning and tidying I do there are always going to be times when the house is in complete and total disarray. It is what it is. :) Ps...LOVE your desk chair!

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  18. Your blog of today is a winner!
    Thanks for a glimpse of the real world.
    Phyllis

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  19. Sometimes I will look at a table or countertop and say HOW DID ALL THAT STUFF ACCUMULATE THERE? I really hate dusting! I have 5 cabinets with glass shelves and filled with knickknacks and assorted items. The dust shows up so well but it is a chore to dust each shelf!! When I take photos the dust shows up so well! I want a dust free home!

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  20. HAHA.....my house looks like that bomb all the time! My home is not perfect by any means. I find that I have to explain every time I take a pic that shows some kind of mess. The last five yrs for me has been rough, fibromyalgia has taken over my life. But anyway, I know you went through that beautiful place of yours and messed things up just for this blog!! haha....I love it. Thanks for being so honest.

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  21. Hmm..... I'm not so sure that I agree. We all know that each one of us wakes up with bad breath and sleep in our eyes. That's reality. But, it's also reality that, as a courtesy to ourselves and others, we brush our teeth and wash our face. That, too, is a reality. It's etiquette. It's what we do to prepare ourselves for stepping out into the public. Why on earth would someone come home from the grocery store, still not having put groceries away and tidying up, and decide it was time to bring out the camera? That's like inviting someone over for a dinner, and not taking the time to freshen up and putting on some nice clothes. My counters are always clean, clear and crumb-free, except for when I'm preparing a meal. And, there's no great effort involved; it's just how things are in my home. Do I leave dishes in the sink? Yeah, sure. But, if I'm expecting a guest, or planning to photograph something in my kitchen to post to my blog...... well, of course I'm going to do the dishes. Why wouldn't I? It's just as much a "reality" as leaving them there. However, a clean sink looks nicer, more prepared for a photo shoot. I cared enough to take the time to wash them so that my photo would look more pleasing to the viewer's eye. That's not staging; that's just being courteous. When someone visits my blog, they are my guest.

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    1. Hello :)

      That wasn't exactly my point, but I see what you're saying. I clean my house before I have guests over too. Actually, my house is relatively clean most of the time, but nothing is perfect and I know that no one else lives in a perfect house either, whether they want to portray it on their blog or not. The pictures I showed were an exaggeration to get my point across. They were taken when I was cleaning the fridge or doing a project, etc.

      You see, the trouble is that I consider visitors to my blog, friends and I tend to tell my friends the truth. Do I post pictures of my house looking as perfect as it can get? Of course! But I want my friends to know that it's not real. It's an illusion. All of Blogdom is an illusion, but most people don't realize that. If you read the comments here, you'll see a few sighs of relief. That was my point.

      Whether or not anyone else tells the truth about the way they live is irrelevant, I'm just trying to shed some light on our little perfect world we've created.

      I'm sorry if I upset you or anyone else. That wasn't my intention.

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    2. One side note... If you've been here before, you'd know that I like to talk about these things with a sense of humor. Some people get the joke, some don't.

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    3. Well, I'm certainly not upset. I've been delighting in reading your posts, and enjoying "touring" all those curious places in Arizona. I happen to be more amused by the "self proclaimed professional blogger" attitude, the ad infested blogs and presentation as such that they are editor in chief of a home and garden magazine. But, I'm also perturbed by bloggers who post photos that don't even come close to acceptable composition. Even worse, numerous photos of the same damn thing from every angle possible and more close ups than one cares to look at. I'll take fantasy world over that any day.

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  22. Hi Rue, I wanted to thank you for linking our blog post :-) What a lovely surprise it was for us to see those awesome comments from your friends and readers! Thank you so much once again!! - Handan

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    1. Hi Handan! Thank you so much for being okay with it. I wasn't sure what both of you'd think, but I really appreciate it :)

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  23. I've often felt and am right at this moment feeling the Charmer is a mess.. This little house can go from neat to mess in no time. I'm always thinking that my home is the only one this way too..and keep telling myself that just isn't true...but seeing your example helped me to realize all homes are/get messy...We expect so much perfection of our selves. Blogging takes a lot of time...and other things go to the wayside....Our home growing up was very neat for having 12 people living in it..Most of the time my house is full of stuff...too much stuff and no place to keep it. Thanks for helping me feel OK about how it is... its always clean but not necessarily clutter free.

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  24. Posts like this are why I love visiting with you, Rue. You're REAL. I personally like a few warts to show in my posts. I am by no means perfect, and I'm only going to go to so much trouble to remove the ugly from my pictures. I can't tell you how many times my real scenes have gotten a bigger, more positive response. Apparently, others also like a bit of reality showing through. One thing I dislike about Instagram is the attempt at perfectionperfectionperfection all the time. Picture after picture of it can get downright nauseating! I have to take breaks from it to keep a proper perspective. Same thing with pretty blogs. Thanks for this great post that keeps us grounded in reality. Much love!

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  25. I'm laughing so hard right now. :)
    ~Liz

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  26. Hah! If anyone has spent time on my blog they know that I'm all about real. I've showed my home in all sorts of stages from ultra messy to squeaky clean. I remember when I did my before and after about decluttering and organizing my studio one of my readers commented that I was very brave to show it in its messy state. I did a post about my husband's not-so-pretty green wing chair that he loves and how I've learned to relax about having the "perfectly" styled home. I'm so over that! Love you friend. Nancy

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  27. Wonderful and witty, Rue. The other night I was watching a rerun of The Accidental Tourist, and I took a quick picture of the kitchen. It just seemed like perfection, with its plastic dish drainer (I have one), spice tins in the window (Mom does that), a table in the center of the room, ladderback chairs (natural wood), a Corgi sleeping on the floor. The kitchen seemed to say, I am warm and alive.

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  28. I tend to agree with both you and Linda Nelson. I try to make everything as clean and pretty as I can before I photograph anything for my blog, since, well, I like looking at pretty photos and I like making them too! I'm as guilty as anyone of kicking my way through chew toys, dog fur, and every other kind of clutter to to get a nice, 'perfect' photo. But I see your point too- even though I know better, I often catch myself looking at lovely blog (and magazine) photos and being irritated at myself for not being more tidy and well styled all the time. So I guess I have a foot in both camps-- I like being inspired by unattainable perfection, while at the same knowing it's not real or attainable. Or maybe I just to torture myself! Thanks for sharing you insights on this, as usual, you've started a great conversation!

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    1. Hi Melissa :)

      I know exactly what you mean. I love looking at beautiful pictures too! Don't get me wrong. But what I'm speaking to is that part of everyone that says"I can't compete". I read and hear it all the time and when I feel like people need to hear or see the reality of a situation, I speak up. I know it gets some other bloggers panties in a bundle and I might lose readers, but I still feel the need to make people feel better. I don't know why. Maybe it's a sickness LOL

      I figure if I use humor, it won't hurt as much when I do it, but sometimes it doesn't work. Oh well, I'm glad you got what I was saying, even if you partially disagree :)

      xo

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    2. Oh, no I don't disagree! Having a reality check is a good thing. I was just pleading guilty to creating a bit of my own non-reality in my photos. ;-)

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  29. I wish they would just. Stop. With those. "flowers in the sink". Pictures. ha ha ha LOL!! I liked this post. I like real people and real houses. Our house is wonderfully cluttered. We have stacks of books in various stages of being read or waiting to be read. Baby seeds sprouting to life in little pots of dirt. Lots and lots of DOG HAIR......because I adore our big dogs! and their torn up, dirty, threadbare and chewed up toys. Jackets and scarves scattered yet, although the winter coats have been put away. Magazines, pictures, a big dollhouse!, little granddaughter's toy ponies and fairies, projects. Mementos, scattered treasures and memories. It's all here. And it's home.

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  30. So funny, Rue! I love your cozy, comfortable even when it's messy, home!
    Real life is happening every day!

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  31. Great post! When I first started blogging I could not believe all the perfect homes, then I realized they weren't. I feel better. Mine is lived in and that is that. Don't ever forget that Rue! Hugs!

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  32. messy or organized your home's character and beauty shines through ...i love your kitchen. i saw an interesting article today and immediately thought of you and your love of retro.... here is the link
    http://abandonedspaces.net/index.php/2017/05/09/no-one-lived-in-this-house-since-1956-when-he-moved-inside-unbelievable/

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  33. I'm like Debbie (Mountain Mama) ^...I'm pretty anal about keeping things neat and tidy. But my house isn't perfect, by any means. There's usually dust on my furniture and there's always cat hair on the couch and chairs. Of course, I do bring out the lint brush if I know someone's coming over. My closets and drawers could use some tidying...and don't even mention my basement or garage!

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  34. Golly, your home looks fabulous to me. I love photo editing and think of it as putting my best foot forward as I would comb my hair, wash my face, slap on some gloss... So make fun of my editing, I don't mind. 😉

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  35. So...you spilled the beans...bloggers aren't perfect? Oh my word...how will we ever cope? Thank goodness...you are human after all! Funny post....I like neat and tidy, but that happens so rarely around my home too. Life is messy! ;)

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    1. Yes, I finally came clean... yuck... yuck ;)

      xo

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  36. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post my friend!!
    Thank you for being REAL and YOU!!!
    xx oo
    Carla

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  37. Terrific post, Rue. I nearly spit my iced tea out when I got to the line about "photo edited the crap out of it." LOL!! If only editing would help my house look good. ha! I've usually got a cat draped over something no matter what room I go into. Cat hair is everywhere though I try my best to keep it vacuumed, it even gets on the shower curtain where the black cat likes to dart behind the curtain and hide. It is a bit intimidating to see so many perfect looking homes in blogland, but at the same time it's hard to believe that they stay that way at all times. :)

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  38. Great post, and I often feel like my photos aren't good enough either. I don't even know how to use a photo editor. I post things just as they are. I am trying to make some look nicer by using a better camera and trying to get the background to blur on food shots. But other than that, I just shoot (and post) what I see.

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  39. Rue, Thank you for being so honest! Magazines give a false look at life. A messy house is a well lived-in house and I feel more welcomed in a house like that than one that looks like it stepped out of a magazine. Our one room challenge guest bedroom is now getting a few things added back in that make our house a home, since I took all the photos.

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  40. Rue, we always fall for it, hook, line, and sinker. And maybe you know better but I honestly never believe that these houses ever are messy. I don't believe yours is! I think you staged it messy! No, but really, your clutter is very organized clutter. And you are probably 30 minutes away from your whole house being camera ready. I must have some goals to emulate! As always, a charming post intelligently written and photographed. The subject--your house--always entrances me because it is so authentically you!

    I have read your post 3 days in a row now, thinking with dread of one I was writing, almost backed out of doing because of one of your commenters. I went ahead but please don't send Ms. Nelson my way, Rue. She would absolutely die with disgust.

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  41. Oh Rue, I just love you for keeping it so real!! When I'm cooking with my one little granddaughter, I'm just happy to get a picture of her happiness in the kitchen. I just use my phone to take pictures and I know it drives one of my sons crazy that I don't care more, but I keep telling him that I'm not a professional and I'm just me! Thank you again for telling it like it is. ❤️

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  42. The thing everyone needs to remember is that homes are meant to be used, especially surfaces like countertops and tables. That's why they are built into a house. It would be crazy to have a house without countertops, right? Also, if there are two people living in it as compared to someone with 2,3, or 4 children. Life gets hectic for family's especially. My daughter has four children and she works, as well as her husband. She is very busy being a taxi service for the kids and all of their after school activities, so many times she simply has to drop whatever she was doing and go. None of us should ever judge a book by it's cover... and as long as a home is not stinky with week old dirty dishes and piles and pile of stinky laundry, then it's okay by my standards.

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  43. So true!! AND, I love, love, love that rocking chair!

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  44. LOL! I shove stuff off to the side all the time to take pictures but if you look at the ones I take in my kitchen, you will see all the stuff in the background, a few crumbs (ok, some days more than a few) and if there are flowers in the sick, it is because Doofy has knocked over a little bud vase near the sink while he happily made a meal on said flowers. I have given up on having real live beautiful flowers IN the house because they have proven to be simply irresistable to that cat and I am tired of cleaning up water and broken glass. If I were to take a picture of my couch that I am sitting on right now you would not see a blanket artfully arranged over the back of it...no, you would see it kind of crumpled up beside me with a box of tissues next to it along with two pillows that need to be fluffed and a towel sopping up the water that I spilled earlier. Yep, that is reality here. ;)

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    1. That should say sink not sick...I think I need to head to bed now. ;)

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  45. I enjoyed reading and looking at this post.
    Of course my house is perfect, and the meals I cook ... are never burnt!!! LOL!!!

    Life is for living, our homes are for living in ...

    Have a great weekend

    All the best Jan

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  46. It's not just in social media that we only see the good side of people's lives. My daughter, KC, caught up with a friend the other day whom she has always envied a bit. She picked up a pizza after work to take to her friends and as they caught up the friend said that her husband had been laid off in February and just found work. And, the day her husband started his new job, she herself was let go. To top it off, the friend was diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma on her face. My daughter has seen the couple at multiple social events in the last few months and none of those negatives were mentioned. We all put on a great face to the public, but life happens.

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  47. This is why most of my pictures are closeups!

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  48. Like usual, you hit the nail on the head Rue. I can't tell you the anxiety I get from all these perfect food videos and photos that fill up my FaceBook feed. I always get caught in the line of thinking that I'm just not doing enough, when I'm doing the exact amount that I can do. I just have to take a step and remind myself of what I'm looking at. I know better :) And I love a dose of reality, it's so much more interesting. I can't be the only person to have followed a big blog and grown bored with the artificial nature of it all.

    Hope you had a great weekend! :)

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  49. My favorite is when someone shows you a whole tour of their home and there isn't a single electric cable :-)
    Amalia
    xo

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  50. Your house is perfect, Rue, perfectly warm....Christine

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  51. Interesting. I like pretty photos of shells, flowers, teacups and so on. Just a little moment of joy in a messy or busy day. I have to smile at sweet Amalia's post about cables. I have a television, and it has not be turned on in about a year, no land line, and so on. So you don't see a lot of cables or cords except for chargers! (Though my spouse has a tv in his office in the carport.) I love your desk. xoxo Su

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