Tuesday, May 16, 2017

On judging


As bad as it is, I think it's human nature to judge other people.

Judging Bubba is judging.

By their clothes.

Their manner of speaking.

Their homes.

Their jobs.

Their friends or family.

Their posts on social media or in blogging.

The color of their skin or ethnicity.

Their politics.

With one look, one word, or even a feeling, we can hate or love someone immediately.

As much as we don't want to behave that way, we do.

We all have opinions.

Some we share, some we don't, and some that we're too ashamed to admit, even to ourselves.

Do I think it's right?

No.

But...

we all do it.

I'm certainly guilty of it.

As much as I try to listen to all opinions and viewpoints, my own tend to get in the way.

For instance,


But later, I thought...

who am I to judge what people portray to the world on their blogs?

In the grand scheme of things, I'm just some silly broad with a little blog blabbering away about this and that.

Is it nice to know that I helped some of my friends and readers, by telling them how I feel?

Yes.

Was it fair?

Probably not.

Would I do it again?

If I'm being honest...

Yes.

I know, I shouldn't say or write some of the things I do, but well, sometimes I get a bee in my bonnet and I need to let it out.

Was I too harsh?

Maybe, but I didn't think so when I wrote it.

After all, if I'm poking fun at myself too, they can't be mad, right?

I thought by laughing at myself it would soften the blow.

Maybe it did.

Maybe it didn't.

Was I trying to hurt anyone's feelings?

NO.

Absolutely not.

I hate to see anyone upset or angry.

It causes me anxiety and a stomachache.

Although, when someone confronts me on what I've had to say and I think I'm right...

I lash out.

 Of course afterwards, I feel like a giant ass and regret every word that came spewing out of my mouth.

And believe me, I do go on.

Blah, blah, blah... until I'm sure their ears are bleeding.

And then there it is..

regret.



The kind that keeps you up at night questioning yourself.

Ugh.


Anyway, my point is...

I'm a flawed human being, but I truly mean well.

I just need to remember that unless we're in someone else's shoes, we really don't know or understand why they are the way they are.

And maybe those bloggers really do live in a perfect bubble.

I'm happy for them, if they do.

Personally though, 

I'd rather live my messy, imperfect life.

Dog hair and all ;)

xo
rue





36 comments:

  1. Great post Rue. It is so easy to judge others. I'm guilty of it myself, and ask God to give me a gentler spirit. We are all unique individuals, the world would be oh so boring if we were all the same.

    There's no way I can be a perfect house keeper, a perfect gardener, etc. I can be better and try to do the best I can (sometimes), asking for help when I need it and am thankful for the encouraging words from others. I try to take things one day at a time, not compare myself to others, (not always easy), and to live in the present moment.

    Enjoy your day in your sweet home filled with love, joy, beauty and your sweet pups.

    Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady

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  2. I used to reply to a friend of mine who said I was judgey: Of course I judge. We all do as we move through our daily lives. We each have opinions and feelings and thoughts.
    The trick for me is how do I do that without sounding harsh? The last thing I want is to sound like I'm not authentic - the real me. I love that quote from Dr. Seuss about saying what you feel - those who who mind won't matter, and those who matter won't mind.

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  3. I didn't consider your post judgy at all. Don't be too hard on yourself. :-)
    xoxo

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    1. I'm ALWAYS hard on my self. Basically, I even judge me lol

      Anyway, that post was just an example, but thank you, my sweet friend :)

      xo

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  4. Thanks for visiting my blog. I finally got my art room cleaned out and hopefully will start painting soon. My husband is appalled that I want to share any before pictures with his junk piled in my room! He's afraid that everyone on the face of the earth will think we are hoarders. We've also been dealing with a huge leak in our kitchen ceiling that no one can seem to find the source and therefore have not fixed. Life isn't very pretty around here lately. Love your post!

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  5. It's funny how people say "don't judge" while they're judging you for judging. lol We all make mental judgments all day long. It's part of rational thinking. You were not offensive to me at all. I appreciated you speaking your mind. This current trend of being so easily offended has infected us all. I hope at some point it blows over and we can all get back to not being such a bunch of sensitive flowers.

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  6. "Judging" by the number of comments you received on that post, the vast number of which were positive, I'd say you're in good company, Rue, and I wouldn't give it a second thought. People are free to agree or disagree. At least so far that's the case. "Judging" by what I see transpiring on some of our universities, though, free speech may soon be a thing of the past. Use it while you can. xo

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  7. I thought your post was right on and also tongue in cheek, not offensive at all. It was an observation you made as a member of a particular group. I didn't see it as judging, I thought that you were just sharing your opinion...on your own blog...where people can come to read or choose not to. It's your home and if you can't be comfortable sharing there, then where? Keep it coming...

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  8. "As bad as it is, I think it's human nature to judge other people."

    thank you, for beginning this post, with the above. Like so many not-nice-things, judging can be a human trait. Humans are far from perfect, thankfully. Imagine a world, where everyone went around, being ohhhh soooo perfect. Yikes! Spare me! ,-)

    Thank you for bringing up the topic of how-we-tend-to-judge-according-to-our-own-views. We do! I do! Show me someone who doesn't!!!! Yeah... Show me!!!! ,-)

    And as to 'getting-a-bee-in-your-bonnet,' oh my but that happens to me, all the time!!!!! -grin- And it's a delicate balancing act, how much each of us, can get away with, with posting about 'our bees.' -smile- You have a lovely large group of Blog Followers. They love you. They may put up with more "bees," here, than in other places. -smile-

    As for me, and my posting about my "bees," I sometimes feel my readers, figure; "Well, she's a really old gal, and so I'd better just smile and let-her-at-it." Which of course, would blunt my 'buzzzing' about the 'bee-in-my-bonnet.' -grin-

    Soooo, what does all this add up to???? Please keep on 'buzzing about bees in your bonnet,' when they come to mind!!!!!! And I will too. It shows we are human!!!!

    Lots and lots of gentle hugs,
    Luna Crone

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  9. Ugh, did you get emails or comments from people wanting boring, sanitized posts? While I agree that our world has gotten a little too judge-y, it's human nature. We can't help it! I'm like you, I have my judgements and then later I think, who am I to judge? I then try to judge less but I always seem to revert back to that pesky human condition. I also believe everyone is entitled to their opinions and allowed to express them, so I'll just say I enjoyed your post. Keep doing you cuz I love the real you!

    Hope you're having a great day Rue! 😁

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  10. You are a thinker Rue. Many of your posts analyze things deeply. You make people stop and take notice and think! That's a good thing. I hope you continue.
    Imperfect perfection is how a home should be! Not too clean so you feel you have to be sterile to enter and not too messy so you appear never to have done a thing.
    I like the line from Murphy's Romance where Sally Field tells James Garner:
    "Keep your living room picked up,don't sit around in a bathrobe after ten, and don't mess with a married man."
    Seems like a good plan ;)

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  11. Perhaps some folks should lighten up a bit. If it's any consolation, I was actually relieved that there was someone out there who "got it." If there's tomato sauce splashed on the counter while I'm cooking - that's life. It happens. It's real. We don't live in a fictional novel- well I don't anyways. I guess I would rather read/see non-fiction with a good message even if it's not perfectly presented than perfectly fictional bologna. Have a superb day and scratch a furry belly or two for me 😊

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  12. I thought you did a fine job writing out your thoughts. I do know exactly how you feel, I get a tummy ache when things like this happen too. And I want to become a hermit. And I always say "well, how come this person can have opinions, but I can't."

    Love Ya, Rue! Keep writing!
    Carla

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  13. Here is my take on our blog posts. Post what you feel and believe in and want to share. If it is not someone's personal preference or they do not like it then I say move on. It is free to come and visit and read the post. If you do not like what you read then move on. There is not need to be rude or aggressive or take someone else's opinion as your own personal feeling. I guess it is human to spark other's emotions in what we say. That is just human nature and the beast of blogging. If you enjoy your blog and posts and feel passionate about expressing yourself freely then you should by all means do that. Love you and your blog. You are honest and real and that is what I love about your blog. Keep up your wonderful writing.
    Hugs,
    Kris

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  14. Judgy McJudgerson made me smile ;) I enjoyed your post and I struggle with the same things you mentioned. I've been participating in a wonderful Bible Study called The Comparison Trap and it deals with the very thing you mentioned about the social media bubble and not getting caught up in all of it!

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  15. I though of you yesterday. I saw a gorgeous kitchen on Pinterest, and the blogger had beautiful roses in her farmhouse sink :). I was actually going to do the same thing in my not so beautiful kitchen sink just to get your panties in a twist. You're not the only snarky one around here ya' know? ;)

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  16. Lordy, It's nice to know I am amongst other perfectly imperfect people. People that say the wrong thing sometimes, do the wrong thing, say more with looks than words sometimes and are just REAL people....like me!

    I always love your posts because I know I am going to get REAL when I come here...and I like that! xo Diana

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  17. Your thoughts are always from the heart ...
    It's your blog you write and comment as you feel.

    Keep on writing.
    I'll keep visiting ...

    All the best Jan

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  18. Got what you are saying but I can't remember a post that would have offended anyone. You are honest and it appears to me that you work hard at wording the things you say nicely and correctly. I hate hurting folks feelings also but we all have our own thoughts and we should be allowed to voice them in our own blog without someone getting upset. Just be who you are Rue and if what you says offends someone, maybe they are the ones with the problem.

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  19. I think you are perfect just the way you are. Your posts are always well thought out and I don't think you have ever posted anything with the intention of hurting anyone. Stay true to yourself and you can't go wrong!

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  20. I often see posts like this here and there in blogland :) They are meant to engage a response and comments :) They work.

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    Replies
    1. I only wish I was that clever. More like, late night thoughts lol

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  21. Hi There, GREAT post --and so thought-provoking... YES--we are all judgmental in many ways no matter how hard we try not to be or even say that we are NOT.... It's part of human-nature... BUT--I see it more these days in the state of our country than ever before... People seem to get offended so easily ---and political correctness is changing so many things about us... I try not to get political on my blog --but will say that I have lost several 'so-called-friends' simply because I disagree with them politically. Some people act as if 'we' are dirt on the ground unless we look like them, act like them, believe as they do, etc. etc. etc. We used to be a country which loved our diversity ---and enjoyed all of the different cultures, religions, etc... Now there is just so much hatred and anger.... YES---I'm being judgmental but I am worried about 'my' country. Just my thoughts!!!

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  22. Your posts keep me grounded--and give me the courage to keep going. Surely you have touched others who were thisclose to shutting down their blogs. I hope you don't change one thing about yourself or your blog.

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  23. I agree with Betsy, just telling my mom this morning almost exactly what her concerns are, I'm afraid that our Country will implode, but what keeps me feeling optimistic is hearing from women across our Nation with their blogs. To me as a reader it connects me to wonderful women that allows me in their homes and hearts. I'll keep on reading.
    a p.s. here, my home is nowhere near what some of the bloggers have, but I always seem to find something inspirational that I can afford.
    P.p.s pics of travels, family ( always the family various pets ) are always welcome:).
    God Bless America, she's not perfect, but I'll live here, than anywhere else.
    Have a good evening Rue,
    Kathleen in Az
    On a side note
    your doggies can judge me anytime, but then I'll be smooshing them with hugs and kisses! Their faces!

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  24. Yes indeed dear Rue we all judge. Like you I try not to. I also try not to take my own self or my blog to seriously. I try to regularly show a messy room or a messy me because that is the lovely truth.

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  25. I enjoyed that post and thought it was interesting. I've known a couple of people whose homes were in magazines and the magazine not only brings all the furniture, paintings, etc., but on the second one they brought the outside plants and the chickens! This has been going on since magazines first rolled off the presses. It just goes to show that we should never be envious of others. THEY don't even have what others wish they had. It was a good post, Rue.
    Ginene

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  26. Rue, I really enjoyed this post. I think Betsy expressed my feeling perfectly.

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  27. Aww.. your pups are adorable.

    I think you and your blog are awesome, and I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts.

    I don't think you have a mean bone in your body :)

    Have a great rest of your week.

    ~K.

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  28. Rue, I agree with Kerin. Not a single mean bone!! Keep being true to yourself. That's why people love you!! xo

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  29. I feel much the same way. We all have opinions, as we should. I don't care for perfection, because that is not reality. And I choose reality.
    Brenda

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  30. Oh golly, we all do this, stay awake second guessing ourselves and what others think of us or what we might have said that could be misunderstood. I didn't think your last post was judgey at all! Being real is much more important than perfection. I prefer a dog-haired life too.

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  31. I didn't think you were being judgey at all. You were just expressing your opinion . Nothing wrong with that! And it started an interesting conversation too.

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  32. We are a broken people...all of us. And yes we fall from time to time...but that doesn't mean we are bad...just means that we pick ourselves up, keep moving forward and try again.
    BTW, Bubba's portrait is adorable as the pillow is his shadow!
    ~Chris

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  33. I think people should not be so easily offended, but I absolutely try not to offend. xoxo Su

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